Badger to the Bone (Honey Badger Chronicles, #3)

by Shelly Laurenston

“I think she’s trying to get away from that.” “Is she going alone?” Streep asked. “Is she a Dee-Ann Smith now? ”

But Dee-Ann Smith and her daddy, Eggie Ray Smith, were known for being killers. Nothing more, nothing less. They didn’t do rescue missions. They didn’t do heists. They didn’t involve themselves with anything except taking out people who had done something that had made them a liability. Luckily for the world, they’d both ended up working for the Group, which meant they used their kills for good. Or what Tock, the team’s philosopher, called “relative good.” Mads, however, had played Dungeons & Dragons since she was eleven and she liked to call it “chaotic good.”

A MacKilligan with PTSD was like a Godzilla with rabies: a situation that was not going to end well for anyone.

We’re all in this. We’re going to do this to support a woman that at least four of us are absolutely terrified of. But we’re going to do it because she had Mads’s back when she didn’t have to. So we do this together,”

she said, swinging her forefinger

in a circle, “because we are . . .” She prompted again as they all gazed at her continuing to make that big circle with her fingers. “Because we are . . .” “What?” Max finally asked. “Girlfriends!” Streep clapped happily in agreement. Tock looked again at her watch. Max and Mads just made sounds of disgust until Mads suddenly ...

“Stevie didn’t invite me. It was Charlie. I’ll be attending with her and the triplets.” Max faced him, three pairs of bright yellow panties in her hand. “Wait . . . Charlie’s coming? To the playoff game?” “Yes. Then she said you, your teammates, and Charlie would be going off to kill a bunch of people after the game.” Max’s eyes widened and she might have stopped breathing. “Charlie told you that?”

“No, that was Stevie.”

but I was on top of the china cabinet again.” “What is it with you and that china cabinet?” “I don’t know, but I am so comfortable up there.”

“There’s something you should know,” he called after her just as she’d stepped out the door. “God,” she whined. She walked back into the room. “What else did Stevie say?” “A lot of things but nothing you have to worry about.”

“After last night, you and me . . . I got it bad for you.” “Bad for me? What does that mean?” “That I could possibly, kind of, with the right incentive . . . fall in love with you. Maybe. Possibly. It feels a little soon but for some unknown reason that feels right. I’m just not

sure, but I thought I’d warn you. I also may change my mind. So you should stay on your toes.” Max sat down next to him on the bed be...

“I think, with very little effort, the answer...

Besides,” he added, “I need to hear that you love me first before I can even begin to commit to the eff...

She gave a sound of disgust and walked out again. “I’ll take that to mean that you’re madly in love with me!...

The feral cat that lurked around Max’s house came out from under the bed and climbed her way up Zé’s leg. When she’d curled into his lap and, eventually, rolled onto her back so he could rub her stomach,...

“Zé said he’s falling for me. What does that even mean?” “It’s obvious,” Charlie mockingly replied. “It means he’s leaving you for a different hot Asian girl.” “Exactly! He’s leaving me for another hot Asian girl!” “No!” Stevie jumped up from her chair and grabbed Max’s forearms. “That is not what that means.” She smiled.

“He’s falling in love with you. And you love him back! I can see it. This is so wonderful!” “Why?” “It means you’re not a sociopath because you can love others! Aren’t you glad to know you’re not a sociopath? I know that Charlie and I are glad. And relieved!”

And it was on “one” that Max dropped her underwear, grabbed their baby sister by the hair, and took her to the floor. “Take it back!” she screamed. “Take it back!”

“He loves you!” Stevie yelled . . . from the safety of the ceiling she was now—wisely—hanging from. “You might as well suck it up!”

“Everyone just calm down.” Charlie placed her hand on Max’s shoulder. “There are worse things in the world than extremely hot guys falling in love with you.” “Like what?” “I hear nuclear war is bad.”

“You’re just going to have to get used to this,” Stevie informed her. “Once cats make up their mind . . . they’re done. You could marry someone else and have twenty kids and Zé will still be living under your porch....

Unable to come up with a satisfactory argument, Charlie just snarled. “Fine. Get ready. We leave in five minutes.” “What you guys want me to do?” Stevie asked from the ceiling. “You really need to stop doing that,” Max warned her.

“The de Medici Pride? I never heard of them.” “I have.” Max looked at her sister. “A lot of our weapons are from their people.” “That’s awkward.”

“And you seem to have what we may be looking for.” “You do know I just found out I’m a cat.” “Yes. I’m aware. And we’re the ones who can teach you what you need to know.” “Could you teach me to hang from the ceiling?”

She frowned. “Why would you want to hang from the ceiling?” “Why wouldn’t you want to hang from the ceiling?”

“Hey, darlin’,” a new female voice said from his right. Zé jumped again, this time hissing a little. “Sorry ’bout that,” the woman wearing a Tennessee Titans baseball cap mocked. “I always forget how nervous y’all are.” “You’re not a cat,” he told the woman sitting next to him. “Definitely not.” “Pitbull then?” Her yellow eyes narrowed. “Gray wolf. And a Smith.” “I don’t know what that means.” “Dee-Ann Smith’s the name.” “And howling is your game?”

Those eyes narrowed even more. “You really didn’t know all this time that you were a cat? Because you sure as hell sound like one.”

“Are you coming to the game, Charlie?” Nelle asked. “Yes. I want to see my sister play.” Charlie paused for a few seconds, then added, “So you bitches better win—or I’m going to be upset.”

Charlie glanced at Max over her shoulder, but the sisters had to look away from each other before they started to laugh hysterically. Because that would be wrong. Wouldn’t it?

Zé shook his head. “How about we not talk about this? You do your thing. I’ll do mine.” “What does that mean?” “I got an offer from the Group. And then I got an offer from Katzenhaus.” “That’s cool.” “Yes.” “Do you know where you’ll be stationed? Because both those organizations have offices around the world.” Zé put his arm around Max’s shoulders. “Don’t worry. I’m not leaving you.” “That was not what I was—” He put his forefinger over her mouth. “Shhhhh, my love. We’ll talk about your obsession with me later.” “I hate you.” “You wish.” * * *

Berg wrapped his arms around her body and carried her away from Freddy. She never wanted to hurt Berg, so she didn’t fight him. But that didn’t stop her from yelling. She yelled a lot. * * * “Youmotherfuckingcocksuckingspunkbubblebastardcuntwhoreofa-motherfucker!”

Then the scream came. Just one long, anguished scream. A scream Charlie only seemed to use when her father had done something particularly fucked up. It went on for a long time and shook the house windows. It was such a strong scream that eventually their deaf sister tapped Max’s arm and asked, “Is she screaming?” Max nodded. “Yes.” “So I’m not the only one he makes do that?” Max laughed. “Nah, kid. You’re not the only one.”

“She hates me, doesn’t she?” Before Max could reply to Natalie Malone’s question, Stevie did. “No! Of course not. She just feels so bad for you.” “Why?” Max finally looked away from Charlie to see Stevie give the saddest shrug. “Because you’re a MacKilligan,” Stevie said, wiping a tear. “That’s so horrible for you.”

“She’s a Malone,” Keane growled, still glaring out the window. “Oh, of course! Of course!” Stevie nodded, but then she scrunched up her face and asked, “But is she? Really? Because your mother’s not a Malone, right? It was your father.” Damn! Max couldn’t believe her sister had gone there.

“Yeah. Charlie and I dealt with that situation.” That’s when Max smiled. The smile said it all, and Zé knew he was in real trouble with this girl. He was no longer falling . . . he’d fallen. Because she was a nut. And he liked it. He liked her lethal nuttiness.

But now he had the lost sister roaming around his workspace. Uninvited. Badgers and cats . . . they had absolutely no respect for other people’s boundaries, did they? Although he did have questions. For instance, would Natalie turn into a giant tiger-striped honey badger like Stevie? Or would she simply be a honey badger? Or maybe shift into a tiny tiger? Or . . . would she shift into something even more interesting than any of those options? Yeah, see? He had so many questions! * * *

And she’d only gone off with him so she could spend some time with the man who was her father. Ech! What a mistake. He was such an idiot. She could deal with almost anything, even pure evil. But pure stupidity? Who had time for that?

Confident she’d gotten her point across, Max changed her frown to the smile she was much more comfortable with and went up on her toes to kiss Zé on the cheek. But before she could, he brushed his head against her cheek, her chin, her throat. She felt his purr moving across her flesh.

When he pulled away, Max walked to the door and went into the house. Once she was inside, she bent over at the waist, put her hands on her knees, and let out a long, shuddering breath. There wasn’t a lot in the world that rocked Max to her toes, but those feline moves . . . ? Damn. *