Hot and Badgered (Honey Badger Chronicles, #1)

by Shelly Laurenston

“This is going to be big.” When Coop’s head tipped to the side like a confused schnauzer, he added, “The hotel room of some big-time penis was just violently invaded.” “It’s pianist.” “Yeah. I said that.” No. He hadn’t.

“I don’t like baths. I don’t like soaking in my own filth.”

“Of course I know you! How could I forget . . . you?” “Then what’s my name?” “Deuteronomy?” She shrugged. “Dude for short?”

“So you can barely see and you can’t smell anything . . . but you can clothesline your sister?” “I’ve been clotheslining my sister for a very long time now. And trust me when I say she deserved it.”

You’re the only person I’ve ever met who didn’t have time to notice the Eiffel Tower while in Paris.”

“Does no one care that there are bears in our house?” Stevie screeched.

Stevie tried meditation and yoga to relax. Max got into fights with bees. And Charlie baked.

Unless the wolves have had tequila. Tequila nights are noisy nights.”

“I love how your Christianity only comes into play when you don’t have a rational argument for something you don’t like.”

“I didn’t let it turn into a pit fight.” When no one spoke, Charlie lowered her phone and explained, “If you let it turn into a pit fight, then it becomes all about winning. So you don’t let it turn into a pit fight.”

“Everything makes me nervous.” Stevie thought a moment. “Well . . . not everything. But man-eaters definitely make me nervous.” “But tigers are man-eaters . . . and you’re half tiger.” Stevie stared out the front window for several seconds ruminating on that bit of information before admitting, “Dear God. I’m terrified of myself.”

“You can’t give wild animals food and then take it away.” Stevie pointed a finger at Charlie and snarled through gritted teeth, “So if that means you need to bake, bitch. Bake!”

“My sister grabbed the nuts of a polar bear and twisted until he squealed like an otter caught in a hunting trap.