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April 20 - June 1, 2024
“The hotel room of some big-time penis was just violently invaded.” “It’s pianist.” “Yeah. I said that.” No. He hadn’t.
And what did these brilliant and pricey psychologists discover about Stevie over the years? Exactly what Charlie already knew: That her sister was a high-strung prodigy who suffered bouts of extreme panic like any abandoned child would.
Livy finally admitted what everyone in the Yang family already knew. “She’s completely sober right now, which tells me one thing.” Vic gazed down at her. “Which is?” “She’s a serial killer.” “Because she . . . smiles?” “Yes.”
“He needs to be found,” her aunt finally stated. “And I need smaller tits,” Charlie told her, “but we don’t always get what we want.”
Berg wasn’t really as worried about the MacKilligans’ honey-stealing ways as he was about what would make a very careful Charlie suddenly allow her panic-riddled sister to go off her much-needed medication.
It started out like a low grumble. Then it became a roar. A big cat roar. Orange, white, and black striped paws the size of massive platters landed on the lab table, crushing the thick slab of granite under the weight of each paw. Like someone putting their hands in snow. Then the biggest honey badger head Dougie had ever seen appeared. “Oh . . . fuck,” Dougie whispered.
Stevie shifts
“So, let me sum up—we’ve got one vote for total annihilation and one vote for forcing them to join the hockey team. Am I correct?” “Yes,” both females replied.
And when he cuts your heart out, I will dine on it with a good Scottish ale, you worthless son of a bitch!”
“Charlie, if you are feeling moody and need to bake, there are, um, requests here.”
“Yeah,” Berg muttered, “lots to do. Like look at porn online.” “Don’t judge. Sometimes one needs to check out bad homemade porn to feel alive.” “Big porn fan, are you?” “Not particularly. Except the Japanese animation stuff.” “Seriously?” Berg asked, laughing. “Yeah. If I watch that stuff then I’m not worrying ‘what do her parents think?’ Why don’t I worry? Because the girl getting hardcore fucked while still managing to keep her nurse’s hat on—an actual video by the way—is just animation.” “That’s amazing logic.” “Isn’t it, though?”
“Oh, gentlemen, you have much more to worry about than the apparent fact that Stevie MacKilligan can shift to something that’s twenty feet tall.” “And what is that exactly?” “Well,” Irene leaned back in the office chair, “with a few household products and some gum, she could destroy all of Texas.”
“It’s a Kingston Arms Premier suite. Completely paid for.” He smirked at Berg. “Has two bedrooms.” Rude bastard. Charlie picked up the gold card, held it between her hands. “That was a waste of Dutch’s money,” she muttered before looking over at Berg. “God knows, we only need the one bed.” And her gaze was so heated that Berg had to pick up the glass of water he’d ignored all through dinner and drink it down in one gulp.
Charlie gasped, his mouth on her nipples felt . . . different. Weird. Not bad, though. Not bad at all. More like outstanding. Yes. Outstanding. Like he had two mouths on one nipple. Yeah. That was definitely weird. Weird she’d even thought of that.
Like a group of dancers performing, the five She-weasels crossed their arms over their chests, hitched out their right legs, and let out annoyed sighs. It was weird.
Dag was refusing to give up the honey, so Britta went to the cabinet over the refrigerator. She opened it and Stevie, who’d gone inside there when the roaring started, handed her another jar. “This one is infused with lemon.” “Oooh. Yum. Thanks, Stevie.”
“Everything makes me nervous.” Stevie thought a moment. “Well . . . not everything. But man-eaters definitely make me nervous.” “But tigers are man-eaters . . . and you’re half tiger.” Stevie stared out the front window for several seconds ruminating on that bit of information before admitting, “Dear God. I’m terrified of myself.”
At one point, Charlie put a cherry pie on the window ledge. Two males got into a fight over it, allowing a sow to take it for her and her children. It was pretty funny.
