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As Dr. Thomas Lowry commented in his essay “The Cultural Psychology of the Clitoris,” “The idea sprang into Freud’s head in 1910 without a visible shred of experimental evidence and it has probably caused more unnecessary worry than any other single psychological notion.”
Federation of Feminist Women’s Health Centers and their highly informative book A New View of a Woman’s Body. Based on years of research and self-examination,
pubococcygeus (pew-bo-cok-SIH-gee-us) or PC muscle. The PC muscle is also known as the “Kegel” muscle, named after Dr. Arnold Kegel who observed that the PC muscle contracts during orgasm.
The breasts swell in size, and stimulation of the nipples initiates the production of oxytocin, a hormone that creates pleasurable sensations throughout the genital area.
As noted in the Hite Report on Male Sexuality, almost half of all men who said they enjoyed cunnilingus were nonetheless preoccupied with issues of cleanliness and hygiene; and closely associated with those concerns were comments that women’s genitals smelled bad. A smaller percentage of men did not share these concerns, and an even smaller group of aficionados claimed to love the taste and smell. But such enthusiasts are in the minority.
cassolette (the French word for perfume box and used colloquially to describe a woman’s unique scent; the sum total of her effluvia; her aromatic signature)
Lots of factors can affect smell and taste, including: diet, vitamin deficiencies, medication, her cycle (some women produce vaginal secretions that contain compounds called aliphatic acid chains, and may cause her scent to vary with the phase of her menstrual cycle), infection, hydration, alcohol, drugs, tobacco. Unprotected sex can also affect a woman’s smell, in that sperm is highly alkaline and raises the pH level of the vaginal ecosystem.
Usually the body quickly readjusts to normal levels, especially when the sperm is familiar, as it is when two partners are committed to each other and monogamous. But if a woman has unprotected sex with one or more new partners, the body may not be able to restore balance as quickly as possible as a result of immunological factors.
All of these safe-sex accessories can typically be found in drugstores, and can also be ordered from specialty stores such as Good Vibrations or the Blowfish catalog.
To that end, the Three Assurances of the cunnilinguist manifesto are as follows: •Going down on her turns you on; you enjoy it as much as she does. •There’s no rush; she has all the time in the world. You want to savor every moment. •Her scent is provocative, her taste powerful: it all emanates from the same beautiful essence. Communicate these Three Assurances physically and verbally; repeat them over and over, in every possible way; say them, show them: embody them.
numerous studies reveal that breast contact stimulates men way more than it does women.
Some literary recommendations: James Salter’s erotic masterpiece, A Sport and a Pastime; Anais Nin’s collections of short stories Delta of Venus and Little Birds; the erotic novels Emanuelle by Emanuelle Arsan and Story of O by Pauline Réage; Harold Brodkey’s sexual saga “Innocence”—perhaps the greatest depiction of a session of cunnilingus ever penned; novels by Jerzy Kosinski such as Passion Play and Cockpit; Henry Miller’s Under the Roofs of Paris and Quiet Days in Clichy; My Secret Life by Anonymous and The Pure and the Impure by Colette; Nancy Friday’s anthology of fantasies, Secret
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In abbreviated terms, think of these stages as a straightforward process that encompasses: the first kiss; establishing rhythm; building tension; escalating the action; preorgasm and orgasm.
commissure, the area just above the clitoral head where her outer lips meet.
You’ll know you’re both in the right position when she’s able to comfortably look down the length of her body and watch you work, and you’re able to look up, without breaking the flow of action, and make eye contact with her.
1. In this chapter, we discussed the importance of establishing rhythm and building a solid foundation, as well as exercising restraint when you might be tempted to apply rough passion. 2. After the first kiss, lick her vaginal entrance from top to bottom, and then rest your tongue flat against the surface of her vulva. Do this fifteen to twenty times. 3. Next, lick her five times with halfway strokes, focusing on the labia and staying clear of the head. On the sixth stroke, finish the movement and press the soft tip of your tongue into her head. 4. Repeat this pattern, increasing each set of
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venous plexus, the mechanism in the penis for retaining blood and sustaining an erection
Kierkegaard wrote, “Hope is a charming maiden that slips through the fingers, Recollection is a beautiful old woman but of no use at the instant, Repetition is a beloved wife of whom one never tires.”
As George Bernard Shaw wrote, “When you loved me I gave you the whole sun and stars to play with. I gave you eternity in a single moment, strength of the mountains in one clasp of your arms, and the volume of all the seas in one impulse of your soul.” When she comes first, she comes forever.
