She Comes First: The Thinking Man's Guide to Pleasuring a Woman (Kerner)

by Ian Kerner

Any sex therapist will tell you that the number one complaint they hear over and over from women is of an inability to experience orgasm during penis-vagina intercourse. The solution is not simply “more foreplay,” as magazines often chide us, but rather the skillful extension of those activities we associate with foreplay, namely oral stimulation, into complete, fully realized acts of lovemaking—the transformation of foreplay into nothing less than coreplay. This book is not anti-intercourse, but rather pro-“outercourse”—a conception of sex that goes beyond penetration, embraces mutual pleasure, and is better suited to stimulating the female sexual anatomy to orgasm. This model doesn’t exclude intercourse, but instead promotes the postponement of male gratification until after a woman has achieved her first (but hopefully not last) orgasm during a session of sexual activity—a deferment that has the double benefit of vouchsafing female satisfaction while also significantly enhancing the quality of the male climax. This book espouses the postponement of gratification, not the postponement of enjoyment.