Poems for the Signs

by Michaela Angemeer

finally starting to learn that who can do the hurt first without getting hurt in return isn't a competition i want to win

you are already the flame. stop looking for matchsticks. think bigger. your energy is a gift. most people can’t see the finish line before they’ve started the race, but you can. harness your power. the people who tell you you’re too big have spent their whole lives afraid to grow. if someone makes you feel like shrinking, leave them. if someone tells you to give up, push harder. you owe it to yourself to fill up this world with passion and love in a way that only you can.

you can understand where someone is coming from and still not accept how they treat you

my loneliness is a coping mechanism protection from rejection why

you can’t practice vulnerability on someone who’s never felt their feelings why did i try to go deep you weren’t comfortable in my ocean too many waves for someone who never learned to swim

your words were beautiful but an empty promise is just a lie that hurts more

i grew up with conditional love and frozen food no wonder nourishment feels abnormal

i am not the cure for your insecurity being with me will only make it worse i won’t save you from your demons i’ll open the door for them let them sleep in the guest room i am so sorry i can’t fix you whatever you’re running from will catch up to you if you’re with me

no self-help books in the winter if the sun sets at four pm i don’t want to work on me i want to sleep escape into a different world disassociate it’s too cold to improve it’s too dark to see who i’ll be next

thank you for teaching me unconditional love. for having the best sense of humour. for bringing light into every room. for having a deep understanding of me as a person and always holding space for who i am. thank you for catharsis through cooking, for welcoming me into your kitchen. for supporting me, for always paying special attention to me. you showed me how to be brave and strong, and that brave and strong can come in any package. i wish you felt less pressure to hold it all together.

the last cupcake butterfly clips a seahorse finding money on the ground bottomless mimosas romanticizing your life a cloud with a rainbow coming out of it forgetting what you want to remember remembering what you want to forget periwinkle hurting people you love by accident