Poems for the Signs

by Michaela Angemeer

i don’t wanna be with anybody who weaponizes my vulnerability saves it in a wooden box loads it in a shotgun when i least expect it

i am not a good person or a bad person my morality will never be black and white my soul is a rainbow you can make a million colours from it and all of them are beautiful

you promised atlantis but all i got was myrtle beach

truthfully, i find it so difficult to know who wants the real me and who just wants to feel seen

sometimes the best thing you can do for the people you love is take care of yourself

the only thing that changed is i stopped waiting for a partner to live my life. bought myself flowers. took myself on dates. real dates. dressed up for fun. journaled in the park and enjoyed my own company. went on vacation. a three hour drive for one. a three bedroom cottage for one. planned dinners. shucked corn. barbecued. lit candles. ate. did the dishes after. talked to mother mary in the lake. took pictures in the hot tub. lit incense every morning. practiced gratitude every night. read two books in two days. watched the sunset on the dock. learned i can live a full life filled with love even if i haven’t found someone to share it with. i can find joy in every day even when i’m alone.

there's just something so romantic about being in love with someone who has no pressure to reciprocate your feelings wait, did i say romantic i meant pathetic

you asked me what i didn’t like about you i felt like you were asking for it to be over or maybe i was asking for it to be over and though i don’t remember what i told you

i no longer have people in my life who do not do what they say they are going to do. i am done with checking in. i am done with reminders. i no longer take on the mental exhaustion that comes with being reliable for another person. i call in self-sufficiency. i call in reliability. i call in competency, consistency, the ability to follow through. all of my connections are filled with ease. we are responsible for ourselves and we benefit from a mutual, natural ebb and flow.

i wish i could be happy for your wife and kids but if i’m being honest i’m not