See, I thought I’d “handled” all the fear and intimidation of that first year by swallowing it, or by playing along. But repressed feelings don’t just disappear and they inevitably came out in other ways: paranoia, jealousy, isolation. The smallest slight produced a disproportionately large reaction. Uncharacteristic, illogical behavior followed. The feelingswere so large that even when I knew better, I couldn’t help myself. Like the time I got upset with my costar Randall when I was accidentally excluded from a radio interview we were supposed to do together.
