Making a Scene

by Constance Wu

wonder if our culture tends to sympathize with accused men because their bafflement over the accusation is often so genuine. When men don’t listen well, they might mistake the ways a woman covers her fear (giggles, silence) for consent. So for him, it’s very clear cut. Whereas the woman? Her claim is filled with shame and guilt and regret over things she didn’t say or do in the moment, for fear of making a scene. It’s easier to side with the guy, whose feelings around it are less… complicated. To see him as a regular guy who made a mistake. To forgive him.

I’m proud that, despite everything, I opened my heart enough to get hurt again.

But if I’m feeling the need to defend myself, that means I feel attacked. And I need to ask myself if what I’m perceiving as an attack is actually an attack. Who is the injured party here? They’re the ones in need of defense.