Fumbled Hearts (Tender Hearts #1)

by Meagan Brandy

“Yes.” His answer is instant. Firm. My eyebrows jump. “So, maybe you should just give up the whole dating thing altogether.” He grins at his suggestion.

“Yeah.” He licks his lips. “Looking at you gets under my skin.” He drops down an inch. “Thinking about you fucks with my head.” Another inch. “Hearing that raspy, sexy ass voice of yours gets me riled up,” he rumbles quietly, his body now brushing mine. “And touching you? Touching you sets me on fire,” he whispers.

“Seeing another guy touch you…” He shakes his head, brows pulling in further. “I can’t handle that.” He brushes a teasing kiss across my lips, making me whimper like a desperate ho when he retreats. “So, how about we make sure that doesn’t happen anymore?”

His lips push down on my throat. “Tell me, Kalani.” His hot breath brings goosebumps to my skin’s surface. “Tell me. No other guys. Just me.”

“So fucking perfect.”

“Flushed and under me.”

Nate steps into my space, forcing my eyes back to his. “Maybe I want to be.”

“Yours.” He tips his chin.

Nate dips his head, caressing my skin with his soft words. “You didn’t think I’d let you fall, did you?” he whispers.

He nods, standing tall. “The dance is on Saturday.”

“Go with me.”

“Because I want you to.” The way his steady gaze is anchoring mine has me swallowing hard and unable to look away.

“I learned a long time ago, by the way,” he tells me, his gaze dropping to my mouth as he lazily runs his middle finger over my bottom lip. When my brows pull in slightly, he continues. “That you were different.” His eyes come back to mine. “Rare. Better.”

One of his hands leaves my thigh and slides across my cheek, where it pauses briefly before tucking my hair behind my ear. “I like when you do that.” My voice is thick and extra raspy. “I know.” He smiles softly up at me. “How do you know?” “Because, you hold your breath every time I do.”

“No.” He grins. “I started to because it was the only gentle thing you’d allow. Then,” his eyes roam around my face, “I had to keep doing it because I needed to feel your skin against mine. And now...” He runs his fingers down the length of my hair, letting the curl fall from his fingertips when he reaches the end. “Now I do it because my body craves the look you give me when I do.”

“The one you’re giving me right now.” His hands glide across my collarbone. “While your eyes are low and aroused, they’re also full of fear and wonder. You’re scared of what you’re feeling when I’m touching you, but you’re dying for me to do it again.” He leans forward and kisses my neck, his hands sliding down my back to rest on my ass. “But you don’t understand any of it, so you put up that wall of yours.” His nose feathers across my jawline and my eyes flutter closed. “You’re not used to wanting something.” His teeth scrape down my earlobe and my body shudders. His breath warms my ear. “But more than that, you’re not used to needing something.” When I feel him pull back, I open my eyes to meet his, searching.

“I think I know, but you have to figure it out on your own, Kalani.”

“You both seem really into each other.” She smiles and leans back in her chair. “I’ve never seen Nate like this and I’ve known him since Kinder.”

I smile and look down at my hands.

“You’re freaking blushing!” She claps excitedly.

“The stone-cold Kalani Lee Embers is blushing,” she sing-songs.

“Honestly?” I laugh, dropping down to tie my boot. “I haven’t a clue. All I know is I want to keep her by me.” I stand again to meet his gaze.

“As long as she’ll allow.”

“You look ’bout ready to murder that there piece of plastic, son.” He grins even wider. “You jealous of a straw?”

“We know that sweetheart,” she whispers lightly, the gentleness of her voice making me hold my breath. “I didn’t bring you this so you could show it off to the world. I know that’s not you. Though,” she laughs slightly, “I have to say, I wouldn’t mind if you did, because you’re you. But, I brought this for you because I know what it would mean to him." Her eyes shine with unshed tears, and my ribs start to ache. “You sitting here, under the lights on his last night as a high school football player, with his name and number proudly displayed on your cute little body.” She squeezes my shoulders again, and out of the corner of my eye, I see Ian’s hand come to rest on her lower back. “He’ll never forget it,” she whispers.

Nate’s head turns in my direction, the ball he’s been tossing around to warm up his muscles freezing in his hands. He angles his body toward mine, silently asking if he needs to come to me.

When the ball falls from his grip, I can’t help the laugh that escapes me. He takes two steps toward me, then prepares to jog, but Mr. P. is quick with his interception and a deflated Nate turns back to his partner, snatching the ball off the ground in a pissy motion I find sexy as hell.

I lean over the railing, yelling out to the boys, watching as Nate jogs back, his teammates hitting his shoulder pads, and slapping his helmet along the way, but he doesn’t stop when he reaches the sidelines. He tosses his helmet and keeps running. Headed right for me. He picks up speed right before he reaches me, leaping up to latch himself onto the railing, smashing his lips into mine in the same motion.

Those chocolate eyes implore mine. “I love you.” I’m shaking my head before he even finishes. “Yeah, Kalani.” He nods, sureness carrying his voice. “I do. I’m in love with you.” “No. You’re not,” I shoot back, my body turning to cement. He smiles and I don’t miss the chuckles around us. “Yes, I am. And you’re in love with me, too.” “No, I’m not.” He steps into me. “Yes. You are. I know you are.” “You don’t know shit,” I whisper, unable to catch my breath, my eyes darting across his face, searching for a sign of... something.

He brushes my hair out of the way. “How do you feel when I touch you?” “Warm.” “And when I hold you?” His arms wrap around me, his pads making him even larger. My hands drop to his chest, the fight in me slowly dissolving. “Safe,” I mutter. He brings his mouth to my ear, whispering, “And when I fuck you?” He pulls back, locking our gazes once more, dipping his chin slightly. I don’t answer right away, but after a few moments, “Everything… loved,” squeezes its way past my lips. He nods and that perfect smile lights up his entire face.

“Oh, my God…” I think I say out loud. “When did this happen?” His forehead drops to mine again...

I bring my hands to his waist, pulling back again. “I’m in love with you?” He l...

“I’m in love with you.”

“Son, listen to me. What your mom and I have…” His dark brows raise and he nods. “It’s special. As sad as it is, most people who have been married, or together as long as we have, don’t have that zing anymore. They don’t get their breath stolen from their lungs when their wives first step outta bed, get lost in her eyes when she looks up at them, or blinded by her smile.”

“Yeah,” he chuckles to himself. “What we have is really something.” He locks his eyes on mine. “But what you and Lolli have?” He raises a brow and I frown at him. “That’s once in a lifetime.

“I’m dead serious, son. I’ve never witnessed the kind of connection you two have. Hell, I’m not even sure I believed in it until she came along.” He shakes his head. “It’s almost too much to watch you two together. You’re so attuned to one another, it’s as if you’re one person. You know what she needs without her telling you. You have deep, meaningful moments with just your eyes.”

“And when that girl laughs, I swear to God, I can see it leave her and run through you. ...

“You don’t find it weird that, throughout your life, you’ve had multiple opportunities to meet her, and never did?” He doesn’t give me time to answer. “‘Cause I sure as hell do. I think this is how it was all supposed to happen. Your lives have been mixed and intertwined for years without your knowledge, but the universe knew you two weren’t ready for each other then. You needed to live, Nate. To screw up a bit before she came to you. Otherwise, you’d have never seen her worth, her particular type of perfection. Without your regret, you’d never have had something, or someone, to be better for.

“And, as messed up as it is, she needed to see what life was lacking, experience pain and loss, and figure out her own way of handling it before she had you to lean on. Or else she never would have needed you, never would have searched your soul for her safe place. She’d have gone through life taking it only as it came, never truly living, or loving. That’s the only way it could happen; through her terrible losses.”

“I don’t know what happened. Heard the bit you told your mom, but I can see it in your eyes; you’re not convinced. I know you’re scared of the truth, pissed and hurt, but ask yourself, Nate,” he places a hand on my shoulder, his dark eyes locked on mine, “what’ll be worse? Finding out it was true, that she didn’t love you? Or never knowing for sure, always wondering if you still hold a piece of her, like she always will for you?”

“She was made for you, Nathaniel. The other piece of your soul. She came to you, was given to you, when you were ready for her, when you needed her. Way I see it, things are coming around now. It was only right something happened now, to test you, like she was tested.” My gaze returns to his and he gives a resolute nod. “It’s your turn now. Go to her when she needs you most.

Right there, under my pergola, is a beautiful, aged white wood swing, held up by triangular posts on each side, two metal chains hanging from the small beam above it. Nate’s swing sways in slow, gentle motions, with the help of the soft ocean breeze.

I knew he’d come.

His shaky hand closes over mine holding the chain. “Can you please open your eyes?” His breath fans across my face; he must be kneeling. “I need to see those blues, baby.”

Pulling back, I offer a soft smile, and I run my fingertips across her lips. “Baby, I don’t have to ask. I already know.” Her eyes roam my face and I dip my chin slightly. “I suspected it as soon as I allowed myself to hope. Once I stopped running from the pain, I realized what I knew meant what I thought wasn’t possible.”

“You love me. I knew it before you did, and felt it grow stronger every day. I knew you wanted my happiness as much as I wanted yours, and you’d never throw away what we had. I knew you craved me, like I you.” When her lips start to tremble, I lean my forehead against hers. “Once I realized all that, I knew you’d have fought for me. There was no way you wouldn’t figure out what really happened once you allowed yourself to think about it. And I knew you’d think about it because you can’t shut me out. You’ve never been able to shut me out.” I wipe away the tears that run down her cheeks. “Do you know why that is, Kalani?” I whisper and she shakes her head no.

“Because my heart beats in your chest, and yours in mine. We’re blended in each other in deeper ways than even we understand.” She’s full-on sobbing now.

“I’m glad you didn’t come to me, Kalani. I needed to be the one to open my eyes and see. I failed you that night. Not the other way around.” I squeeze her cheeks tighter. “I will never fail you again.”

Her body tenses slightly, so I glide my palm up and down her thighs. “Don’t. This is it. Us. You and me?” I nod. “We’re gonna make it.”

“I’m going to be busy, Kalani. Real busy, but so are you. There will be times when we don’t see each other as much as we want but hear me when I say I will be here, with you, every chance I have. And when I’m not, when I can’t be…you have our swing.”