Figure of Speech

by Kasha Thompson

“Can you please explain your tweet from four years ago in which you said, and I quote, ‘Breaking news. All men are trash. Your daddy, your pop-pop, your uncle Reggie. Hot, steaming piles of trash. Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk,’” Gimble asked, removing his reading glasses from the brim of his pointy nose.

“So basically, people voted for me off of vibes?”

“Look, you don’t remove a player from the roster until you have a replacement.”

Ending the call, Teddy smiled wider than a Cheshire cat. “Grab your bag, loser, we're going to lunch.”

But I’m weird, I thrive under pressure.”

He was an idealist and realist at the same time.

“I don’t need saving. I can take care of myself.” “I have no doubts about that. But just because you can doesn’t mean you have to.”

“Strong men say they can handle a strong woman until they are actually confronted with one.”

“You go low, I burrow a hole into the center of the earth, or whatever it was Michelle said.”

This !!!

Dominique may be a meal, but I was a family reunion spread with all the fixings, the kind of feast that required you to unbuckle your belt and left you knocked out in a recliner in front of the television with your hands down your pants.

“Pigeons, huh?” I turned to Teddy and asked. “Look, you can tease me all you want, but I will die on this hill. Pigeons are just rats with wings.”

You can love someone and be disappointed in them at the same time.”

“You wouldn’t know what hard work was if it sat on your face and jiggled. So, I would suggest that you keep my motherfucking name out of your mouth.”

“Please steal her. Abduct her. Throw her in a sketchy white van and go. Ahh, stranger danger.”