Figure of Speech

by Kasha Thompson

“Who? Girl, don’t nobody care about no John Q. Where were the portraits of Michelle and dem?”

“Yep, slanderous New York talk will not be tolerated.” He pinned his arms over his wide chest.

There are three things a woman should never be without. First, a good stylist who knows how to lay her edges. Second, a shade of red lipstick that complements her complexion, and lastly, access to quality penis. Good dick is like a quality-of-life issue. You know, water, air, good dick, reliable Wi-Fi.”

“You’re here now and I’m not gonna let you go so easily this time. Time doesn’t always ruin things, sometimes distance makes it better. It allows for things to ferment, like wine.”

If he wasn’t such a slut he would have bagged me years ago. The presidency only seemed to heighten my desire. Power was an intoxicating drug.

“I can nurture my bank account, my 401K, and my stock options.”

Say it LOUDER

“You go low, I burrow a hole into the center of the earth, or whatever it was Michelle said.”

🤣🤣

Dominique may be a meal, but I was a family reunion spread with all the fixings, the kind of feast that required you to unbuckle your belt and left you knocked out in a recliner in front of the television with your hands down your pants.

“But here I am trying to give you all of me.” He grabbed my face, forcing me to look him in the eyes. “Listen, Clover, I know that you don’t wanna hear it, but I need to say it. I love you.”

“You wouldn’t know what hard work was if it sat on your face and jiggled. So, I would suggest that you keep my motherfucking name out of your mouth.”