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Depressing, isn’t it? The idea that we spend the rest of our lives trying to close the wound of our first love with the stitches we take from those that come after.
I’d argue that your second love is just as important, because it’s the love that reminds you that the world didn’t end with the first. That what was broken can be made new and that our capacity for love is endless. In some ways, the second can shine even brighter than the first, because it brings that part of you back to life. One shapes you and breaks you and one remakes you. I fell in love with them thirty-five million heartbeats apart and an ocean away.
Here’s the thing about life though; it has a funny way of shoving the judgments you make of others right back in your face, of forcing growth upon you. The universe really is brilliant that way, pushing us to our limits just to see what cracks open from our depths.
“All I told her was that I was pretty sure I had just met the girl who was going to turn my world upside down.”
“It’s those 11:11 sighs, stolen feelings hard to describe. Where I sink into this dream of mine.”
“You turned my whole damn life on its head. You fucking terrify me. My days, my decisions, my whole damn world begins and ends with you now and it’s so far out of my fucking control that I couldn’t change it even if I wanted to. So you don’t get to run because you’re scared and damaged.”
“And I know that your broken parts fit mine, which is so fucking rare. Most people go their entire lives without finding it. So ignore it all you want. Bury your head in the sand for however long you need to be okay with it. But you don’t get to run. I won’t let you.” He brings his lips right up to mine, kissing me softly. “I fucking love you and I don’t give a shit what your rules say about that.”
And I can practically feel it, taste it. The way our hearts and souls yield to one another, twisting round and round until we’re inextricably entangled, no beginning or ending to be found between us. Simply one being. A never-ending infinity of us.
“That’s just a part of being alive. Pain is going to find you in life whether you seek it or not. Better to experience the high and be a little bit broken from the story than spend your whole life fucking starving.”
“These stars of ours were written in darkness and bound with light. Ensuring my soul would seek yours for eternity. Forever lost to this captivating insanity of we.”
