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For the fighters. The broken ones who’ve pieced themselves together time and again, knowing it’s not about who you were when you fell, but rather the person you become when you rise. And that you do always rise, even if it’s a thousand and one times.
They say you never forget your first love. That it leaves an imprint on your brain in a way no other love does and that you go through the rest of your life chasing that feeling again and again. Seeking out similar people in a desperate attempt to recapture it.
They say you never forget your first love. That it leaves an imprint on your brain in a way no other love does and that you go through the rest of your life chasing that feeling again and again. Seeking out similar people in a desperate attempt to recapture it. It’s the ghost that haunts you, slipping around the corner and disappearing right when you think you’ve caught a glimpse of it again.
Depressing, isn’t it? The idea that we spend the rest of our lives trying to close the wound of our first love with the stitches...
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I’d argue that your second love is just as important, because it’s the love that reminds you that the world didn’t end with the first. That what was broken can be made new and that our capacity for love is endless.
your second love is just as important, because it’s the love that reminds you that the world didn’t end with the first.
Here’s the thing about life though; it has a funny way of shoving the judgments you make of others right back in your face, of forcing growth upon you. The universe really is brilliant that way, pushing us to our limits just to see what cracks open from our depths.
Here’s the thing about life though; it has a funny way of shoving the judgments you make of others right back in your face, of forcing growth upon you.
But even knowing what I do now… the excruciating pain, the devastating loss. I wouldn’t change it.
But a number doesn’t always equal what someone’s learned in life. Age doesn’t always bring wisdom.”
“All I told her was that I was pretty sure I had just met the girl who was going to turn my world upside down.”
“I guess my taste is varied.” I roll my eyes at him. “And Taylor Swift is epic, no matter what you say.”
“I licked you, so I guess you’re my mess now regardless.”
“Let me make something abundantly clear.” He drags the ice up my leg, running it along the dip between my thigh and pussy before bringing it to my hip bone. Teasing me. “I don’t share.” He drops his hand down and swirls the cube around my clit before bringing it up and running along my other hip. “Not ever.”
“For as long as whatever this thing is between us lasts. You’re mine.”
“I’m scared. Of you. Of this.” His eyes soften impossibly further as he brings his other hand up, running his thumb softly along my cheek. “Me too, Princess. Me too.”
“Don’t let the fear win. Don’t let it take this away from you, from us.”
a hurt can run so deep that no matter how many millions of words are heaped upon it in an attempt to heal, they do nothing but settle like salt on a wound. Sometimes, it takes a different form of understanding, of giving a bit of yourself to another, to ease their pain. Of one soul letting the other know, they are not alone in their suffering.
Jace Dawson was a master at slipping through the cracks in people’s walls and I could already feel him starting to finagle his way through mine.
I’ve never been great at the friends-with-girls thing,
He’s a lover of the tragedies and I’m the greatest tragedy of all. The girl who thought she was too mighty to fall. I knew he would be dangerous to me, and I still dove headlong into it, into him, thinking I could control all the variables. Arrogantly assuming that I was stronger than the pull. I was as much of a fool as all the characters in those fucking tragedies.
“This has to do with you and the fucking fear you let control you.”
“Oh, right,” he scoffs darkly. “Because this is about me and not the girl who fakes being fearless when really she’s the most scared of us all.”
I’ve had enough therapy to rationally understand that love doesn’t equal death. But it’s an undeniable fact that it makes you vulnerable. Opens you up to a person in a singular way, your heart laid bare before them, theirs to cherish or abuse. And this is the result of such vulnerability. Pain. Even if it’s not intentional, even if we try our hardest not to.
Wanting it to wash away these past weeks and leave me with nothing. No feelings. No love. No pain. Only blissful oblivion. But as the tremors start to rack my whole body, the numbness still doesn’t reach the place I need it to. The ache in my heart is a physical thing trying to claw its way out to escape its misery.
“Fuck your rules.” He drops his forehead to mine. “You don’t get to run because you’re scared. You don’t get to push me away. You think you’re the only one who’s scared here, Princess?”
“You turned my whole damn life on its head. You fucking terrify me. My days, my decisions, my whole damn world begins and ends with you now and it’s so far out of my fucking control that I couldn’t change it even if I wanted to. So you don’t get to run because you’re scared and damaged.”
“We’re all damaged. Every single person who walks this earth is...
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And maybe you won’t tell me your name…” He brings his hand up to cup my face and runs his thumb across my cheek with the utmost care, as if I’m infinitely precious to him. “But I know that you hog all the covers when you first fall asleep and then kick them off by mor...
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“I know that you can be reckless because you’re so fucking scared that the moment you don’t feel alive is t...
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“I know that you push and push and push at me because you’re terrified the moment you give yourself to me I’ll turn into some horrible person or walk away, but all some small part of you i...
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“And I know that your broken parts fit mine, which is so fucking rare. Most people go their entire lives without finding it. So ignore it all you want. Bury your head in the sand for however long you need to be okay with it. But you don’t get to run. I won’t let you.” He brings his lips right up to mine, kissing me softly. “I fucking love you and I don’t give a shit what your rules say about that.”
And I can practically feel it, taste it. The way our hearts and souls yield to one another, twisting round and round until we’re inextricably entangled, no beginning or ending to be found between us. Simply one being. A never-ending infinity of us.
