After he died, I had the odd sensation of somehow being older than my parents, or at the very least having seen something that they hadn’t, and it had changed me. I felt like no one, even my parents, who raised me, had anything to offer me that could light my path and show me a way forward. It didn’t feel like I could lean on anyone in a way that would truly, substantively help me. That was a very sad and lonely feeling, and while it wasn’t a correct assessment of my place in the world, it is what it felt like.
