Without a Hitch

by Avery Maxwell

This connection I have with her is so intense. It terrifies and delights me at the same time. I just hope I don’t burn to the ground when it comes to an end.

“I’m trying, Tilly. I’m trying so damn hard,”

She’s dangerous and addicting and so fucking mine.

The feelings of rightness, of being whole, that I have when she’s close like this—those are thoughts for another day. Today, I’ll embrace what I have and hope like hell I come out on the other side in one piece.

Things are changing. With me. With us. With my beliefs, though I don’t say so out loud.

My shoulders relax as I move closer. It’s happening more often. Or perhaps I’m just noticing it now, but when she’s within reach, my body responds in a multitude of ways.

“I guess. It’s how you had them on the plane. And I noticed they were already in candy bowls here too, so I figured it was a big deal to you. I was only trying to help.” “To clarify, you did it for me?” My voice sounds strange, and I don’t fault Tilly for appearing uneasy. “Yes.”

“It’s not about accepting a quirk, Lochlan. It’s about accepting you as you are. A stiff, rigid, candy-sorting, pain in the ass with a heart so big, even if he forgets to let people see it.”

“Because, Lochlan, it’s the gory details that are the bedrock of our souls. They make us who we are, who we want to be. It’s in pain that we find our worth. You’re capable of love. Of giving and receiving it, if that’s what you want. Forgetting and forgiving old hurts are two very different things. I forgive my parents for being unavailable to me, but I don’t forget the pain they caused. I learn from it and keep it from happening again.”

“Us is real, Tilly. I’m not pretending here.”