Reminders of Him

by Colleen Hoover

“Why did you choose the name Diem?” I turn his question around on him before answering it. “Why did the Landrys choose not to change the name I gave her?” He works his jaw back and forth. “They were worried that maybe you and Scotty had discussed what to name her, and Diem was a name Scotty chose.” “Scotty never even knew I was pregnant.” “Did you know you were pregnant?” he asks. “Before Scotty died?” I shake my head. My voice is a whisper when I say, “No. I never would have pleaded guilty if I knew I was pregnant with Diem.” He concentrates on that reply. “Why did you plead guilty?” I hug myself. My eyes start to sting, so I take a moment to breathe through the memory before answering him. “I wasn’t in a good headspace,” I admit. I don’t elaborate, though. I can’t. Ledger doesn’t come back with another question right away. He lets silence fill the room, and then he empties it by saying, “Where would we be right now if I didn’t know Scotty?” “What do you mean?” His eyes fall briefly to my mouth. It’s a flicker of a gaze, but I see it. I feel it. “The night we met at the bar. You said you didn’t know who I was. What if I was just some random guy who didn’t know Diem or Scotty or you? What do you think would have happened between us that night?” “A lot more than what did happen,” I admit. He rolls his throat as if he swallowed that answer. He stares at me and I stare back, waiting anxiously for his next question or thought or move. “I sometimes wonder if we’d even be talkin...