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As I stood at my favourite urinal I felt a sudden rush of the sadness feeling.
‘Let me guess – would that be The Satsuma Complex that every Tom, Dick and Harry is reading?’ ‘Yeah, that’s it. Have you read it?’ ‘I started it, Gary, but I have to say I found it deeply shit.’ ‘You didn’t even like the ducks?’ ‘I think that’s when I packed it in, when those fuckers arrived.’
They’ve probably cordoned off the crime scene. Cordoning gives me the shivers.’
‘You’ve never spoken to me about your love life. Have you ever had a girlfriend?’ ‘I thought you were my girlfriend?’ ‘Fuck off, Gary, answer the question.’
‘I met a girl the other night in the pub,’ I blurted, taking myself by surprise. ‘Is she aware that you met her?’
‘So, are you going to be seeing her again before she takes a restraining order out on you?’
I settled on a course of action that would at least see me through till the end of the day. I would bury my head in the sand and get moderately pissed.
‘Whatever the outcome, mate, I will still be eating pie, don’t you worry about that.’
He seems a lot older than you and a bit – if you don’t mind me saying – a bit unpredictable. I wouldn’t have put you together in a love match – or any match to be honest. Not even ping pong.’
‘Simple. It’s because you are so desperate for people to like you, it’s written all over your face and permeates your whole outlook. They know there will be no comeback on them; you will soak it up like a sponge. You should think around not getting all tarty about it. It’s your choice; you’re the one to blame and if it’s not working
