Many asexual people do feel distress about their relationship to sexual desire prior to learning about the asexuality spectrum, identifying with it, and finally feeling comfortable in their identity. And this distress comes from the experience of navigating compulsory sexuality and acephobia—societal, medical, and interpersonal pressure to have “normal” sexual desires, shame of not conforming to social or cultural norms, fear of losing important connections, and especially cisheterosexual expectations of dutiful sex for people socialized as women.
