The Chemistry of Love

by Sariah Wilson

“My bank account has an echo,”

“Actually, they’re both for me.” “Good for you,” the waitress said with a nod. “Whoever he is, you deserve better.”

“Yes, this is where the tragic happens.”

“What did he want?” “For me to join his harem and give him a dozen children and to never, ever be a chemist again.”

You should know that when you can find me not working out, I will also be making very unhealthy food decisions.”

“It’s pretty simple. You and I pretend to date.”

“We’ll just make it a rule. I know how much you like those. The rule is I won’t fall for you and you won’t fall for me.” “Done,”

“I was just reading the newspaper, and there was an article about the death of a local ornithologist.” That made me set my mixing bowl down. “Oh no, was it someone you knew?” “No. And apparently the police suspect fowl play.”

“Enjoy the things you enjoy, Anna. Don’t let other people make you feel bad about it.”

“You’re so much more than a stereotype, Anna.”

“Six four? Six five?” “Easily.” “I’d let him put me in his pocket,”

great mother of Legolas, it was glorious.

hope all your dreams come true’ and then his name.”

common sense was like deodorant. The people who needed it most never had it.

I saw Marco on a treadmill, running. Without a shirt on. I audibly gulped as my uterus skipped a beat.

“Half-naked?” she shrieked. “What? When? How? Which half?” “Which half? Do you really think he was Winnie-the-Poohing it with a shirt on and nothing else?”

“What about it being the thought that counts?” “If that were true, then I would lose ten pounds today because I thought about eating healthier and exercising and instead I ate an entire bag of Fritos and had a two-hour nap.”

women spent twice as long wondering what men thought about as men actually spent thinking.

“Not your type? I’m like ketchup. I go with everything.”

“I would tell you how beautiful you look tonight. How my breath caught in my throat when you walked into my room. How I’ve been thinking all night how much I want to be alone with you, talk to you, be close to you. Touch you.”

“They also wanted me to get rid of my glasses. I told them it was nonnegotiable. I am not in a Superman situation. I don’t suddenly become a sex goddess by taking my glasses off. My only superpower is poor vision. My eyes are basically just ornamentation at this point.”

Give me a situation where a villain has to change his whole world to be with the woman he loves, and I’m there.”

“The only way an essential oil is going to make you relax is if it’s chloroform.”

He gestured toward the plate he’d gotten me. “Is that okay?” “They would have kicked you out of a hunter-gatherer society.” “I didn’t realize I needed to gather more.” “How often have we been hanging out?” I asked. “True. Stay here. Keep eating. I’ll get you more.” “That’s the nicest thing a man has ever said to me,” I replied with a sigh. Marco got up, laughing, and headed back to the food table.

“In case you didn’t know, the ugly duckling never had to change. She just needed to figure out that she’d been a swan all along.”

Marco is a huge nerd. I just saw his lightsaber. She responded immediately. Is that a euphemism?

“Your skin is so soft,” he murmured next to my ear, his words scalding me. “Are you this soft everywhere?” “I haven’t done a thorough assessment,” I said. “I volunteer as tribute,” he said with a grin.