Heartless (Chestnut Springs, #2)

by Elsie Silver

For the incredible women who’ve been my biggest supporters. And for all the women out there who build other women up rather than tearing them down. We’re better together.

Standing now, I get a good look at her face. My feet root to the ground, and my lungs stop working. Her laugh has nothing on her face. Cat-like eyes, arched brows, and milky skin. She’s fucking stunning.

“I’m so sorry,” she gasps, hand falling across her rosebud lips. “No need. It’s fine,” I say, but I still feel like everything is happening in slow motion. I’m having a hard time catching up, still too fixated on her face. And fuck. Her tits. I’m officially a creepy old man. My eyes trail down to my fist, the soft fabric poking out from between my fingers. She groans as my fingers unfurl. And slowly but surely, I figure out why she’s acting so horrified over me being a gentleman and picking up her . . . Panties.

Luke’s feet bounce excitedly as he watches her. “Don’t go too high! What if you get stuck?” “You’d save me,” Willa calls back from what sounds like much higher up the tree than I thought she’d go. “I’m too small. But my dad would save you!” Her raspy laugh reaches us at the back deck. It’s still as disarming as it was earlier today. “I don’t know about that. He might be happy to leave me up here, Luke.”

“Oh never. He helps everyone,” my son replies, making my heart twist in my chest. Sometimes I wonder how I must seem to him, how I look in his eyes. And this one gets me right in the gut.

“Sounds like you’ve got a pretty great dad,” Willa replies instantly, sounding a little breathless now. “How lucky are you?” “Yeah . . .” Luke trails off thoughtfully. “No mom though. She moved away and doesn’t visit.” My brother sucks in a breath from beside me, eyes darting in my direction. “Goddamn, kids just say whatever comes to mind, don’t they?” I swallow thickly and nod. I’ve worked hard to shield Luke from the reality of his mom, of the choices she’s made—the type of person she is. I never want him to feel unwanted. Willa drops to the ground, brushes her hands against each other, and crouches in front of my son. Her head tips up to look him in the eye, hands stroking his upper arms as she smiles at him. “Sounds like her loss, because you might be the coolest kid I’ve ever met.” She doesn’t use a sad voice, or a baby voice, she just talks to him like a normal human being. “Fucking hell,” I curse under my breath because she just practically hired herself.

I’ll take a boozy brunch with my bestie and a dirty book in bed by eight for a thousand, Alex.

“I want to show you my room!” Luke says, like an excited squirrel with a nut that can’t figure out where to put it. It’s honestly kind of endearing. I heave the suitcase out just in time to watch them walk hand in hand into my house, and for some reason, I stop and watch. Unable to look away. Lots of people have walked through that front door. But somehow this feels different.

I glance over my shoulder toward Luke’s room, where my entire world is sleeping. The little boy who is excited at the prospect of spending the next couple of months with the firecracker in front of me.

“Beg.” “Pardon me?” “You heard me.” Her lips don’t even twitch. She’s not joking at all. “Beg.”

When I walked into the dining room, Cade pulled a chair out and stared at me until I figured out he meant me to sit there.

“Man, my dad is such an asshole, making a joke like that. It’s just to watch us all get uncomfortable too. And then Jasper has to go from saying shit-all to delivering the killing blow without even breaking a sweat.” I smile and marvel at the man beside me. I’ve seen him every day for a week and not once has he looked even close to this happy.

“Eaton. You grumpy motherfucker. You just laughed,” I blurt. “Yeah, Red. I did.” He turns to me and offers the most devastating smile. One that makes my stomach flip and my lips pop open in shock.

The feeling of following her brings out something primal in me. Like, under different circumstances, I’d chase her. I’d take her. And there wouldn’t be any blowback because she wouldn’t be Luke’s nanny. And the fact that I’m this much older than her wouldn’t matter because I wouldn’t give a fuck.

She was just so excited over me laughing. Over me smiling. She smiled back. It felt good. And now she’s in here giving that megawatt grin to other people, who are grinning back at her. And I feel like I want all her smiles for myself. How hard would it be to smile more, to laugh more, if it made her look this happy?

“Daddy Cade, you’re a whole lot prettier when you smile.” I can’t help but snort. “You’re insane.” Usually a woman’s attention makes me squirm. It’s too intense. There’s too much pressure. But with Red, she toes the line of joking. Truthfully, I can’t make heads or tails of her. If nothing else, she has my attention.

“The joke’s on you though. I wouldn’t last ten minutes and just because you’d be quiet doesn’t mean I would be.”

“Let’s put some different music on for Willa.” It’s the perfect opportunity to get rid of whatever this happy, danceable shit is. Horrified, Luke asks me what's wrong with “Watermelon Sugar”, but before I can answer, Willa tilts her head at me and says, “Yeah, Cade. You got something against Harry Styles?”

The shy smile that touches her lips as her head dips down has me softening toward her. She’s so brash sometimes, and then there’s this sweet side. This bashful side. This insecure side. And she has no business feeling that way at all.

The back of my throat aches as I watch Willa spin my little boy around the kitchen on what’s meant to be her day off.

“You’re a good man, Cade Eaton. Quite possibly one of the best.” Her voice is so soft that I barely hear it.

Cade sits on a dark horse, speckled with gray—a beautiful blue roan color with black mane and tail—which perfectly matches his black cowboy hat, signature bicep-hugging black T-shirt, and black leather chaps over worn jeans. He’s seated comfortably in the saddle. Leather-gloved hands on the horn of his saddle, hip popped comfortably, with a toothpick hanging out the side of his mouth and an amused smirk on his lips. He’s so fucking hot.

“Dad!” Luke rushes forward, and Cade’s head flicks in his direction, that smirk morphing into a full-blown smile. One that makes my heart stutter-step.

From my side of the fence, I lean close, dropping my voice. “I’m pretty sure of the two of us, you’re the one with the filthy mouth, Cade.” His hand shoots between the metal panels, fingers hooking through my belt loop to hold me still. To keep me there, as he breathes down on to me. The whoosh of each exhale caresses my cheek. “You have no fuckin’ idea, Red.”

“Life lesson, shithead. Careful who you pick a fight with. Someone insane might love them.”

Willa might be a bit of a psycho—after all, she did just push a child into the pool—but the more time I spend with her, the more I feel like she’s my psycho.

Crouching down, I pull him into a quick hug, needing to feel him—the beat of his heart, the little whoosh of his breath, his chubby cheek against my stubbled one. “I love you, buddy,” I rasp out, feeling emotional. “I love you too, Dad.” He pats my back.

“Are you gonna make a move, Eaton? Or just stand here petting me?” My head shakes and my chest rumbles as I chance a look at her eyes. Clear and certain, so bright. I feel safe when I’m scowling, but it’s getting harder and harder to look at Willa Grant without smiling. It’s with a smile on my lips that I lean in and press my mouth to hers. She’s soft and willing. She parts for me with such ease. Welcomes the kiss.

I head to my bedroom first, absently wondering if it will be weird if I pop my head into her room to check on her. But those thoughts come to a screeching halt when I step into my darkened room and see copper hair floating across my pillows. The light from the hallway illuminates her creamy, pale arm wrapped around Luke’s tiny body. My heart seizes in my chest. Stops right in its fucking tracks. And I can’t look away. I let myself stare, shoulder propped against the doorframe, arms crossed against my chest—my only armor against the intense feelings the sight of Willa snuggling my son stirs up in me.

I soak them in. I think about her saying she loves him. I think about the moment he reaches for her hand, the way he looks up at her—just a little uncertain that she’ll want his hand in hers. I think about the curve of his lips and the way his tiny shoulders drop on a sigh when she effortlessly wraps her fingers around his, like it’s the most natural thing in the world. I stand here and think way too damn much as I stare at them curled into each other. I let myself imagine things that I have no business imagining. Things I’m not sure I could ever live up to.

“You are pretty fun. He worships the ground you walk on.” Staring down at her nails, she tries not to laugh. “As all men should.”

We had nannies too. Or family that helped. Come to think of it, it wasn’t so different from the community Luke has around him. So don’t worry, he’ll turn out great. Just like me.” She says it like it’s a punch line to a joke, and I just don’t get why she’s this hard on herself. Why does she see herself as some sort of failure when all I see is a smart, funny, self-possessed young woman? One who made me beg her to stay. I shrug. “I’d be very proud of him if he turned out like you.”

“Red, don’t marry a man who rolls his eyes at you.” “You roll your eyes at me all the time.” Fuck, I need to stop doing that. She deserves better.

Jasper moves ahead of me, long legs taking every other step. But when he glances back and sees me falling behind, he stops on a landing and then opts to take each step. He doesn’t say anything, but I know he’s acutely aware of us all staying together. It’s busy and these country boys are protective as hell. Only proven further by the way Rhett moves down a row and Jasper sends me in first, opening one arm wide and gesturing me through before following behind me. When we’re seated, Luke is beside me and we’re flanked by two tall men. Worse things have happened to me in my life.

I must have a stupid smile on my face as I stare back at him because I feel an elbow nudge against mine. “It’s nice to see someone looking at Cade like that. Defending him like that,” Jasper says. “Like they can see him for who he is rather than the man circumstances forced him to become.”

Jasper shrugs. “Wouldn’t be where I am today if it wasn’t for him. Would be nice to see him happy.” I nod because I agree. It is nice to see him happy. “Where would you be without him?” Jasper continues staring out into the ring, watching the first team ride in on their horses. He sighs deeply, and without sparing me a glance, he says, “If not for the Eaton boys, I’d probably be dead.”

“You’re really dumb, you know?” His eyes flit up as he rapidly changes the topic of conversation. I scoff. “Is this the opening line of another old-man joke?” “Not unless getting older means sending away one of the best things that’s ever happened to you with another man who isn’t too dumb to see it.”

“Got something to say, Jasper?” His head tilts, his blue eyes taking on a slightly vicious expression. The one I only get a peek of from behind his goalie mask. The one that made me want to get up at five a.m. and drive his pimply teenaged ass to practices, because a man with a look like that in his eye doesn’t lose. He was special and I knew it.

I needed another sibling to take care of like I needed a hole in the head, but Jasper was meant to be with us, not his shit parents. And I wouldn’t have it any other way.

“I don’t tell Summer what to do. Wouldn’t listen if I tried. That’s the best kind of woman if you ask me.” He winks

I opt to pour myself a bourbon and go sit on the front porch. I know why I’m going there, but I refuse to admit it. I tell myself the view is good from here, but when I take a seat on the top step and glance to the side, I see little doodles painted on the railings. Suns and stars. Happy faces and XOXO. And hearts. Willa drew hearts on my front porch, and now I’m stuck sitting here, drowning in the thought that the real reason I’m out here is that I’m waiting for her to get home.

“I think I can’t get you out of my head, no matter how hard I try. I think you’re too damn tempting and that I’m too damn complicated. I think you smell like him, and I can’t fucking stand that.”

“The gall. The absolute gall to complain that I smell like the man you shipped me off with, who was nothing but a gentleman. The man who, under different circumstances, I might have had fun with because he’s a fun fucking guy. But instead, I spent all night stewing over you, Cade Eaton. You and your grumpy fucking face, and your stupid broad shoulders, and round Wrangler ass. So . . . fuck you.” My finger pokes him in the center of his rock-hard chest. “And double fuck you for being jealous when you have no right. If I smell like him, you smell like bullshit.”

“Woman.” He always sounds so snarky when he calls me woman. “Are you insane? You think I went three years without laying my hand on a single person to break my streak with one as exceptional as you and then let you just walk away?”

“No.” He holds up a hand. “I’m going to talk. And you’re going to close your mouth and listen. Because if you’d let me finish what I was saying out there, you wouldn’t have spent a single moment in here thinking I don’t want to complicate things with you. I said I promised myself I wouldn’t complicate this with you. You’re young, you’re restless, and I’m truthfully too fucking jealous to do anything casual with you.” He runs a hand through his hair, giving the ends a frustrated little tug. “I’ve watched you with my son. I’ve watched you, period. I’ve longed for you. I went crazy tonight thinking of you out with Lance. I know in my bones that I won’t want to let you go at the end of the summer, but I’ll take what I can get. Because you’re too fucking special to pass up. Fuck my promises, that’s what I was going to say.”

“I love listening to you talk, Red.”

“But when you say things that aren’t true, I get pissed off. Things you make up in your pretty head and toss around in there long enough that you believe them.”

“You have no idea how special you are. How insane you make me feel. How I haven’t stopped thinking about you since the moment I laid eyes on you.”

After so long, it feels so fucking good to be this close to someone. Especially to her.

“Why are you smiling? It’s creepy. You never smile.” I shake my head at her. “I smile. You just miss them because it’s when I’m staring at your ass. And I’m smiling now because I’m really looking forward to this.”