A Pumpkin and a Patch

by Jennifer Peel

I always told him he went overboard on the citrus scent. At least he was clearing out my nasal passages along with my bank account.

“Josie, my life’s work is about truth, justice, and the American way.” “So now you’re Superman?”

“It’s okay. You don’t have to say anything.” That was good, because his touch had rendered me speechless.

He’s a prime piece of real estate.” I couldn’t help but laugh. “First of all, he’s not my man. Secondly, prime piece of real estate? Who talks like that?” “I’m just saying: put down an offer and take that man off the market.”

Stick a fork in me. I was done.

snigger.

“Why would you want to be thrown into the blender in order to mix in with the masses, only to get cut by the blades?”

I didn’t want to seem like a wishy-washy nutjob. Sure, I was one, but I didn’t want to sound like one.

“Of course, darlin’. Whatever you say. But the pink in your creamy cheeks says he really melts your butter.”

“Believe me, darlin’, if I were younger and this ring wasn’t around my finger, I’d hog-tie that man and show him some southern hospitality.”