A Pumpkin and a Patch

by Jennifer Peel

EVERY PERSON HAS THAT ONE defining moment in their life. The one they will be known for, good or bad, for the entirety of their life. And it doesn’t matter what they do from that moment on; even

Thanks to him, I never wrote in my journal again and have a deep distrust of people, especially myself.

A lifetime of mocking will sour you on someone.

Then, to add insult to injury, Trevor decided marrying a third-grade teacher was beneath him. He’d highly “suggested” I put my master’s degree to better use. I mean, how would it look to his colleagues at his fancy strategy consulting firm where they were wining and dining the top CEOs, not only in

Confirm i hate men

And sadly, I thought maybe if I married someone like Trevor, people would forget I was the Reece the Rogue Pirate girl.

And I had never once spoken to him. Weird, considering I wrote a mini novel about us sailing the high seas together while he ravished

At least he was clearing out my nasal passages along with my bank account.

“He’s the idiot. I mean, you’re the prettiest pumpkin in the patch. Literally.”

You have to quit letting that story define you. You should be proud of that story—it’s an online sensation.”

“Oh, Jo Jo.” She patted my head. “I wish I could take away everything that happened to you in high school, even today, but all those experiences made you who you are—a kindhearted and passionate teacher who always watches out for the kids she loves.”

I’d begged my parents to homeschool me, but they’d said I couldn’t run away from it. It would give me character. It gave me something, all right—unhealthy coping mechanisms.

“He is not my pirate. He’s not my anything,” I complained. “Okay, okay, keep your panties on. I mean that,” she laughed.

LOL

love you, but you’re hopeless. If any man pops up in my life, I’m going to Whac-A-Mole all over him.”

“I would love to see that.” “I’m getting a mallet ready just in case.” This time I meant business.

“But … I have a prediction.” “What is that?” “You’re going to like me.”

“I thought the eye roll spoke my denial loud and clear.”

He had nothing to worry about. Mr. Cavanaugh and I would never fraternize. Ever.

“Thankfully, I was wearing a lacy pair.” She clutched her chest, finally getting ahold of herself. “That’s something to be thankful for.”

“Yes, I’m so grateful the panties fairy took mercy on me.” I oozed more sarcasm than was necessary. “Panties fairy? Is that like the tooth fairy? Because I could seriously use some good new undies. Do I just stick an old pair under my pillow?”

“I thought we told you to stay away from that boy?” Mom scolded. I whipped my head back in Mom’s direction. I was going to need a neck brace. “Mom, for one, Reece is not a boy. For two, I’m a grown woman, if you haven’t noticed, and I can see whomever I want. Last but not least, I want nothing to do with him.”

These moms bugggggg me

“I’m still going to make you like me.” “Good luck with that.” And heaven help me.

Dearest Ms. Peterson (Or can I call you Josie yet?), I’ve always wanted to be called Your Royal Highness, so I’m your man. When do we get started? All the best, Your Most Royal Highness

“So, you never answered. Is Reece the reason for your late-night shopping trip?” “Yes,” I whined. “Did he see your panties again?” “Worse. He wants to infiltrate every aspect of my life. He’s even planning on coming to the pumpkin patch this

“Maybe I’ll go home and shock myself. What’s a good voltage?” I teased. “I was thinking more like counseling.” “I’m way beyond that.”

“What are you doing?” “I’m trying my best to be friends, but you’re making that difficult.”

“Just let me know anytime you want a good turkey roll. I’m your man.”

“I don’t remember agreeing to being friends.” “No time like the present,” he challenged me. “Still not convinced.” “That’s okay. I’ve faced tougher opponents than you in the courtroom.” “Let me guess: you always win.”

I mean hes a lawyer so

“I give up. I’ll see you tomorrow morning, but don’t expect me to call you Your Royal Highness.”

“I’ll take Reece. Good night, Josie. I think this is the start to a beautiful friendship.”

“You don’t like compliments?” He was spot on, like he could see right into my head. “I don’t trust them,” I openly admitted. For someone who wasn’t an open person, this was a shock to my system. Reece Cavanaugh was breaching barriers, and I wasn’t sure I liked it. “I hope one day you’ll trust me, Josie.” He walked off without another word.

“I see pink wasn’t the only thing calling to you this morning.” I flashed Libby a look that begged

Fifteen-year-old me was all aflutter. She and I were going to have a talk later about how when fantasies came to life they were usually a disappointment, so there was nothing to be excited about.

“Um, I’m sorry, you aren’t allowed to be attracted to me.”

She was perfection, bouncing her legs while she turned pages. I smiled at the scene before facing her father, who was eagerly awaiting my reply.

“First of all, I would never joke about being attracted to you.” This was not good news. I went from arrythmia to cardiac arrest. “Second, I read the handbook. I didn’t see any rules about attraction.” “It’s an unwritten r-rule,” I stuttered. “Here’s the problem with unwritten rules: they are always unfairly applied, which is why the rules of law must be written. If the law is not written, it can’t be broken.”

“But I get why you’re going to,” he beat me to the punch. “You just got out of a bad relationship with a man who lied to you and obviously didn’t deserve you. And for some reason, you’re embarrassed by the story you wrote.

And you think by not liking me, it will help you continue to run away from that piece of yourself that was exposed to the world. It’s why you always hide from me, but really, you’re just hiding from yourself.”

“Querida, my mamãe used to say, to get what you want in life, first learn the rules, and then figure out which ones you’re supposed to break.”

All good parents were superheroes in my book.

He wrapped her up tighter and kissed her head. “I love you to the moon and back and back again.”

“I wish I would have been brave enough to let you know, but I was trying to navigate my own waters at the time. And I could tell even then I made you uncomfortable. I’d really like to change that.”

“What’s the worst that could happen?” Reece asked. “That we find out we like each other.”

I meeeaaaann

“You just represented my ex-fiancé, and won, I might add. Which I’m still salty about, by the way. And let’s not forget, if people ever saw us together, even as friends, do you know the kind of attention that would attract? Everyone in this town knows about that stupid story. Sorry.” I folded my arms. “We can’t be friends.” “You don’t want to be friends with my daddy?” Andi about cried. Way to pierce my heart, kid. I turned and met her doe eyes. “Oh, honey, it’s not like that.”

“Yeah, Josie, why don’t you want to be friends with me?” Believe me, I had a list. “He’s so nice, Ms. Peterson,” Andi added. “I really am,” he flattered himself. I refrained from grimacing since Andi was present. “I’m sure you are.”

“I handed him a pen and gave him directions to my lawyer’s office, where he could sign the divorce papers.”

I stared at her baby bump, longing for one of my own.

Fuck them kids

“Believe me, I get it. You’re just out of a bad relationship and you’re hurt. By the way, I should have your cropped photos to you soon. They are turning out amazing. Anyway.”

“There’s nothing wrong with being single. In fact, it can be wonderful at times. But I have this feeling I should tell you that you shouldn’t let your ex rule your life. He doesn’t deserve the power. And … Reece is a great guy.”

you got more than six hours of sleep a night during this time of year, you were considered soft.

Sounds toxic but okay

“Reece, Cami is under the impression that you like me.” “I do like you.” “Not to sound juvenile, but she thinks you like like me.”