Happiness for Beginners

by Katherine Center

“Wanting without hope is torture. Wanting with hope is anticipation.”

Just the bacteria on our bodies, he’d told us in no uncertain terms, was enough to disrupt the ecosystems of the rivers. Shampoo would be lethal to the native algae and bacteria in the waterways, which would then be lethal to the fish that ate those things, and lethal to the birds and predators that fed on the fish—and on up the food chain.

Interesting

“The things you think about determine the things you think about”—meaning the more you focus on something, the more likely your brain is to focus on it.

Girls always wanted to believe in love. Girls always wanted to feel seen, and admired, and wanted.

“So the pleasure system,” Windy was saying, “is modulated by neurotransmitters called opioids. They help us enjoy the good things in our lives and tune out discomfort. But the system of desire is governed by dopamine, which makes you antsy and itchy with longing.” “So they kind of cancel each other out,” Jake said, following her thinking closely. “That’s right. When desire is high, pleasure and satisfaction are low. They’re, like, at opposite ends of a seesaw.”

Interesting

The most important thing to remember is that getting what you want doesn’t make you happy.”

Happiness is more about appreciation than acquisition.”

Only because that’s how life is. It moves too fast—faster and faster the older you get, no matter how much you’d like to slow it down.

I had finally come to understand that not getting what you want is actually the trick to it all. Because not getting what you want forces you to appreciate what you already have.

I finally got that if you were always in a state of longing you could never truly get satisfied,

Life is going to knock you down over and over, I reminded myself, and the best you can do is learn to get back up.

He taught you something. He taught you how to let somebody love you a little bit. That lesson right there is enough to change your life.”