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“Let’s eat. I’m salivating more than a dog at a skeleton convention.”
“Did you know, Bobbie Jo here used to carry around a few extra pounds? Chubby little thing when she was little.” Eyes narrowed, she turned to her daughter. “Now, you’re skinny and a bitch. Eat some cake, honey. We’d all appreciate it.”
“Did you know kangaroos can’t fart?”
“Sometimes you gotta fake it till you make it. You gotta walk tall when you feel small. Lift your chin and you can face anything.”
“Don’t forget to shake what your grandmama gave you either. Now, let’s go buy this dress.”
I was jumpier than a virgin at a prison rodeo.