How to Tell a Story: The Essential Guide to Memorable Storytelling from The Moth

by The Moth

Good insight

Everyone tells stories

Stories dont have to be good, failures can be a good story too!

Follow your passions, but be prepared to brace for impact.

“Sometimes you have to figure out who you’re not before you can become who you are.”

to discover your stories, center what’s most important about them, initiate yourself in the fire of live performance, and use your truths to break down false narratives, whether that’s on stage or over dinner with a friend.

our magical ability to shape-shift into each other’s imaginations with the spoken word. Because we have the capacity for imagination, stories bring other people’s experiences to life, so we can see, and very often feel, events that didn’t happen to us.

This is human's superpower. The ability to believe in something bigger than ourselves (religion or ideology) enables us to work together on big things.

Had you reflected on that you often tell stories? Do you view yourself as a ”storyteller”?

Most of us have a few fun anecdotes that we end up telling again and again, the greatest hits that we pull out on dates or when meeting people for the first time.

This book is not Aristotle’s Poetics, Joseph Campbell’s The Hero’s Journey, or Scheherazade’s thousand and one tales.

I thought, Let’s have a night of the stories that poets use to introduce their poems, without the poems.

This reminded me of my process in creating this book club a little. I figured why not just start and find a group of people I can wxplore books together with.

Moth stories are true and told out loud, in the first person. Moth stories are not read or recited. Moth stories always involve stakes and some sort of transformation. Moth stories are told within a specific time frame.

What are moments from your life, big or small, that stick with you? • What are the stories you can’t wait to tell a new friend, or the stories your oldest friend or partner always asks you to repeat? • What are The Greatest Hits of You?

How would you answer these three questions?

We’ll listen for hesitations and stumbles—anything that indicates perhaps there is more under the surface. (There’s gold in those pauses!)

What is this story ultimately about for you? • Why is this story important for you to tell? • How would you describe yourself at the beginning of the story, and who had you become by the end?

Mark Twain is said to have quipped, “I didn’t have time to write a short letter, so I wrote a long one instead.”

JON GOODE, MOTH HOST AND STORYTELLER: Stories are what turn friends into family.

A well-crafted story requires thought and care, but take a deep breath and revel in some good news! Your stories are like fingerprints; they are unique to you. Only you can tell them. — SARAH AUSTIN JENNESS

Would you tell a succes story or a failure do you think?

You are looking for the moments where perhaps something happened that showed you glimpses of who you truly are.

Can you tell that it is a turning point in the moment? Or can we only know that in hindsight?

Felt an emotion: doubled over with laughter, burst into tears, or lost your cool. • Did something you never thought you’d do. • Tried to be something or someone you aren’t. • Discovered something about yourself, your environment, your family, or the world. • Changed your relationship with someone—for better or worse, a little or a lot. • Had a secret revealed—by you or someone else. • Stood to gain or lose something that mattered to you. • Made a tough choice for the right (or wrong) reason. • Found yourself saying, I do! I won’t! Hell no! I dare you. You couldn’t pay me to. It would be my greatest honor.

At The Moth, we refer to this phenomenon as feeling too “and then, and then, and then.” Long lists without much detail are boring.

“Where did you grow up?” or “What’s something you’re looking forward to?” But try to steer clear of the “What do you do for a living?”

(And now, a rhyming Moth proverb: All ouch and no yay? Hard to make the listener stay.)

Sometimes a change is sudden, and sometimes gradual.

CATHERINE ON STORIES DURING JOB INTERVIEWS: In a job interview, your prospective employer might say, “Tell me a little more about yourself!” or “Tell me about a work moment you wish you could do differently now.” This is an invitation to tell a very short personal story that illustrates your character, work ethic, or ability to problem-solve.

All job interviews are about determining two things: Does this person have the skills needed to do the job, and do we want to spend every single workday with this person? Choose a story that will make your prospective new employer think: I want this person on my team.

This is important to understand when going into an interview. What kind of stories do you usually tell during interviews?

Moth stories are all about agency—where something happens as a direct result of something you did or did not do. Think of those specific moments in your life when you made a choice that altered your course.

Think back to that proverbial fork in the road, the path least traveled. You made a decision to act or not—where did that decision take you?

When someone makes themselves vulnerable, the listener leans in, and a quiet bond is formed. It’s trust. This person trusts me enough to admit they screwed up or got it wrong. And that trust is the gateway to great empathy and memorable storytelling.

Why does this story, of all the stories in your life, resonate with you? Why do you care? What about it stuck with you? What effect did it have on you—big or small? By answering these questions, you are beginning to identify the stakes in your story.

A story that lacks stakes has no tension, and will fall flat. Find the moment—the unique and personal detail—that helps them feel what is at stake in the same way it felt for you. You want them to be on your side, cheering you on!

People tend to use the words anecdote and story interchangeably, but actually they are quite different. An anecdote is a short, amusing account of a real incident or person. A story is beyond a string of occurrences; it deals with evolution. If you don’t want or need anything, it’s not a story. A good story builds. By the end, things have intrinsically changed. Something about it has a lasting effect. You can’t go back. You can’t unsee it. You can’t un-be it. You are a different person because of the events that unfolded.

Moth stories involve change and evolution. The change is the structural frame that helps you build your overall arc in the story. An arc, put simply, is: Who were you at the beginning of the story, and who were you at the end? How do you live your life differently as a result of the events in the story, and why is that consequence meaningful to you?

In a Moth story, the teller uses three elements to get us from beginning to end: 1. SCENES illustrate parts of the story that are both compelling and critical to the arc. The climax of the story is almost always a scene. 2. SUMMARIES move us through the time line and connect us to the next step (“three weeks later,” “after a lot of trial and error,” “I completed my master’s degree and was finally ready,” “two kids and a mortgage later . . . ”). 3. REFLECTIONS share your feelings and insights about what you learned, concluded, deduced, decided to change, or accepted.

SARAH ON STORIES DURING JOB INTERVIEWS: My father spent his career in executive leadership, and he believes in connecting the dots on your résumé through story. He says, “When you look at your résumé, what did you learn in each position that led you to the next? What is the story arc of your career, and why is this new position the right next step?” For example: Maybe you were a bassoonist who then became a conductor and then ultimately interviewed to become a music educator because you wanted to inspire more young people to choose a career path of music. You might not know where the story of your career is going, but when you look back at all the different jobs, there has to be some connection. What did you learn in one experience that narrowed down what you wanted to do next? When Travis Coxson, The Moth’s executive assistant and office coordinator, applied for his job, he had just spent years traveling as a stage manager for Broadway tours. We worried that he’d miss being on the road. But in his interview he told us that when the pandemic shut down theaters, he was suddenly at home for long stretches of time. He found he loved quiet mornings with his longtime partner. What used to be a crash pad became a home. He settled into a routine and realized how much more grounded he felt. He wanted to pivot, and find a way to use his organizational skills for live theatrical events without living out of a suitcase. His story resonated with us, and we offered him the job. A perso...

Resist the urge to tell a listener what to think or feel, and let them come to their own conclusion.

There are events or situations that a vast number of people have experienced: falling in love, losing a loved one, being diagnosed with cancer, coming out, the birth of a child. Many of the “stepping stones” in these stories will be the same for everyone. The challenge is to find the details that make your familiar life experience remarkable and uniquely yours.

Choose a few details that really shine and capture our attention, and save the others for a different story where they can get their due. You are a multitude of stories; they won’t be in storage forever.

We only need to understand his character as it relates to your story.

How do you handle it when you don’t remember a detail in a story? Is it different depending on if it is in an interview or to a friend?

At the end of every episode of The Moth Radio Hour, we hear producer Jay Allison say, “Moth stories are true, as remembered and affirmed by the storytellers.” Memory is imperfect, and sometimes the way we remember our experiences is different from how the events actually unfolded.

What are big no-nos to tell during: - A hiring interview - A first date - A chat with a coworker/friend ?

OUR MEMORIES ARE A LITTLE FAULTY (AT BEST). What if you don’t exactly remember a few of the details? Was it Wednesday or Friday? Was I eight or nine years old? Was his name Joe or John? Did I receive the care package from Mom before or after I filed for divorce? This is a time to make a choice about what is most likely true. If this detail is not factually correct, will it make a difference to the essential truth of your story?

IS THE POINT OF VIEW EVEN POSSIBLE? It’s hard to believe that you could remember a ton of detail from a story that happened when you were four, or in a coma, or asleep. Don’t strain your credibility by telling a story that starts with your alleged thoughts in your mother’s womb.

Do you have a small ”greatest hits” story? Would you mind telling it?

What are the details that will make your scenes (and your overall story) memorable and uniquely yours? Draw from all your senses. Choose specific details to highlight important moments, create emotion, and build tension in your story, but don’t go overboard with distracting or overly specific details that might risk confusing your listener. When in doubt, revisit your one sentence and determine if the detail supports the overall arc of your story.

How will you land your arc? How will you illustrate what changed for you? Can you show us how you are different now than you were at the start of your story?