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July 17 - July 18, 2024
I give him a skeptical look and bring my thumb up to lick it again. “No, no, no! Keep your spit in your mouth!” I swear it was dirt. “My face is not dirty.”
Aaand now I know that the man doesn’t have balls either. I’ll take things I never wanted to know for three hundred, Mayim.
Typing out whole stories takes time, and my boys have a full conversation that I have to ignore before I finish typing it out. It’s nearly a thousand words. It’s almost a whole short story. I could publish it if I was so inclined. *side eye*
Two doms don’t make a right. That’s how the saying goes, I’m sure of it.
Our First Child: That doesn’t motivate me to come out of hiding. Me: Did I tell you that I found out I can subscribe and save on bulk orders of Grape Nuts through Amazon?
“Pretty sure that cereal doesn’t cure emotional constipation,” Gavin hums,
Security is a thing, and my last therapist explained that when we (humans) feel secure in our relationships, we paradoxically feel more independent from the people we love.
Gawd, humans as a species are stupid. It’s like we intentionally evolved to be the most vulnerable prey on the planet.
As a species, we are one bad coping mechanism away from extinction.
I mean, ok, that’s valid too. Humans are also considered predatory. We could potentially win in a war simply by swarming. It’s unlikely we would do that, but we could.
And yes, children, this is what love does. It’s far more important as a verb than it is as a noun, take it from someone who relies on actions to make my family feel loved.
I know that I’m the adaptable one and the things are not what will make or break me, but dammit, you can’t logic away an emotional bond like the one I’ve forged with my stuff.
“How on earth did you intuit that?” my son asks, like he doesn’t know my habits. I *handclap* read *handclap* all *handclap* the *handclap* time *handclap* !
No, I have not, in fact, started using emojis. Ok, before you get all in my face about that, I want you to really think about how many names of emojis you know and what it would be like having to read my words aloud if I used them. Trust me, I have cut out the possibility of being misinterpreted by spelling them out. All y’all who want audiobooks need to think about these things…
Honestly, this is the best kind of gourmet—homegrown, homemade gourmet.
When did he have time to learn Sasquatchish. Sasquatchese? Saskatchewan? No wait, that’s a province in Canada…
Fox doesn’t say this as a criticism of me; he’s making plans. He needs tables, and I need people. He’s planning for both.
I’m not scared of my kid; you’re scared of my kid.
We’re evolution’s version of that one mistake we all make that haunts us for the rest of our lives.
