Sam

by Allegra Goodman

Corey thinks she should get high first, and she tries that too, but no. Even after his blue pills, when she’s half dreaming on the black leather couch in his dad’s basement, she doesn’t want to kiss him. She doesn’t want to get undressed either. He’s always licking and pawing her. It kind of tickles and it’s embarrassing. Why does he want to? Her body is thin; her breasts are small, not like the ones you see online. She barely likes to look at herself, so why would he? She would rather let him touch her through her clothes and then sleep in all her layers, sweatshirt zipped up to her chin, legs curled under her, not a person, not a girl at all. She does not want to be his actual girlfriend. She admits it to her mom, and Courtney says, “Then don’t be!” She tells Sam, If you like him it’s one thing, but if you don’t, forget it. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to.