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Eamon’s desire to go is strong, but he also seems to want assurance that he can safely return.
It’s almost like he’s waiting for someone to give him permission.
“Those two are like … binary stars,” I say. “Gravitationally bound to each other. Orbiting around their own common center of mass. They don’t really need anyone else.”
“If my history is any indication, I may be better off adopting a kitten than trying to find a soul mate and—
“Nothing kills the mood faster than overthinking.”
Clouds sail overhead as I lie there a moment, not knowing what to say. Torn between craving more and the impulse to flee. Flight is familiar. Comfortable. But the craving … I don’t know what to do with it. So, I choose the latter.
“What happens in the pasture, stays in the pasture.”
The heat radiating from his body surrounds me like an embrace, and there’s something about the way he smells … it’s nothing identifiable, but it gives me the same feeling I get when I’m lying in a hammock under a canopy of stars. Like the whole universe belongs to me. I’ve never gotten that feeling from another person before.
“I saw the hand squeeze at the door.” “Do I have to be in love with him to offer moral support?” Anna cocks her head. “Okay, but the two of you have an obvious connection. Have you considered maybe this isn’t just a fling?” “You heard him yourself. He’s a hot mess.” “Maybe he needs someone who knows how that feels.”
My breath catches in my chest as I realize that Eamon and I are exactly alike, keeping our feelings bottled up. Following the rules that other people made for us. It’s no wonder we pull toward each other like magnets.
“Because we humans like keeping tangible reminders of intangible moments,” Anna says. “And I think it’s good to have some keepsakes, but it’s important to know which of them are emotional anchors. Those you can let
“My relationship has only one painful outcome, but I wouldn’t trade my time with Biggie for anything in the world. You have options, Carla. If your relationship is challenging or messy for a time, who cares? If you love him, it will be worth it.” “It’s not fair to him.” Her laugh has a bitter edge. “Oh, honey, that’s just part of life. Maybe you need to let Eamon decide for himself whether this situation is unfair.” “Can we not talk about this anymore?” I fiddle with a loose thread in the sofa.
But now Anna is preparing to build a nonprofit organization with her husband, and as I stand at table eleven wearing a sexy pirate costume, my future suddenly seems … pathetic.
“Even when you’re gone from my mind, you will always be here.”
“You’re very wise,” I say. “Like if Yoda and Dolly Parton had a baby.”
“I thought we were finished.” The corners of his mouth turn up in the barest hint of a smile. He reaches behind him, his gaze holding mine, and opens the bedroom door. “We will never be finished.”
