Fanny May spreads her arm backwards, and Dixon emerges from behind the curtain, stepping onto stage with his massive form clad in the slinkiest red dress I’ve ever seen. The fabric is positively glued to Dixon’s broad chest. And his stomach. And around his thick thighs, where the hem stretches worrisomely. Dixon’s long, hairy legs are on display, and even though he’s not in heels, he does have pointed red flats on his feet. There’s a scowl on his made-up face and a bright white wig that’s cut in the shape of a bob. I gape, unable to form a single word, sound, or comprehensible thought as I
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Mateo is gonna be so upset he missed this
