I was reminded of my own experience of freeing myself from the looming threat of toxic masculinity. Emotional unavailability and domination were the two primary modes available to me; the men around me rarely deviated from those scripts. A boy stepped into one or both of them the way one stepped into a house, with a kind of quiet triumph. But I was predisposed to another way of being, one rooted in joy and care, one that didn’t bulldoze those around me. Robin was right, I thought, one had to pursue what was otherwise. The result was indeed a kind of freedom.
