Secret Service

by Tal Bauer

Forever is a dream too wild to dare. I want to spend forever knowing this man, exploring the intricacies of his heart and soul, but I’ll start with tonight.

I want to take him to my bed and peel off each piece of clothing. Run my lips from his head to his toes, kiss an exploration that maps every sigh and shiver he can create.

“Why did you tell the prime minister you couldn’t dance?” His voice is a whisper above my ear. “I know that’s not true.” I nuzzle his cheek. Smile. “Because I only wanted to dance with you.”

“Brennan.” He lays my palm over his heart. Exhales. I have never been more certain of any truth than I am of this: I want this man, in every way, for the rest of my days. I want to be the man he smiles for. I want to be the man he sighs for. I want to suspend time and the rotation of the earth to hide away with him. Learn his body and how to make him gasp and moan, cry out my name.

“Tonight was…” Reese sighs. “Watching you, watching what you can do for the world.” His lips move against my forehead, as if his words are heartbreaking kisses. “You’re taking a terrible risk with me. I’m the biggest threat you face. And I can’t hurt you, mon cher. I can’t.”

You have to stay away from him. Protect him from everything. Especially yourself.

Stay away. You are bad for Brennan Walker, and for the world. If he and I make a misstep and history sinks its teeth into him, his legacy will be tainted forever. I’m not worth that. I’m not.

“You look perfect, mon cher. You always do.” He clears his throat as a flush climbs his neck and spreads over his cheeks. He doesn’t look at me, and I don’t look at him. Suddenly there’s too much tension between us, like we’re two magnets that don’t know how to interact if we’re not fusing together.

I want Reese’s kisses and his touch. I want him over me, beneath me, surrounding me. Arms encircling me so there is nothing but him. And I want him beside me. On the sofa while our fingers tangle and we talk for hours, or in the kitchen as I cook for us both. Watching the rain, or running together, or sitting in the fog. I feel whole when he’s near, as if he’s carrying a piece of me. Before we met, there was an emptiness in my life, but now—

“What are you thinking?” My voice is thick and heavy. “Things I shouldn’t be, mon cher.” Surrender with me. Surrender to our connection and the love we can build between us. We’re at a crossroads, and one choice leads to a life together while the other is only suffocating loneliness.

“This is exactly where I belong. Here, with you.” His eyes open, and he kisses me. He kisses me like the sun kisses the earth when it rises. Slow, an unfolding of warmth, of playful light and hints of heat. And then, all at once, bright and hot and burning away all doubt. We come together like this is fate, like I was always meant to kiss him and he was always meant to kiss me.

I thought I was protective before, when I was only the head of the president’s detail. Now I’ve made love to Brennan. Now I’m the president’s lover. Now there’s a ferocity inside me that is overwhelming. Blinding. Agonizing.

If Russia continues to flout international law, and persists in committing these heinous crimes, then we must send a untied and decisive message: your actions will not be tolerated. The world will stop you. There is no negotiation when it comes to human rights.”

I’ve been going a thousand miles an hour for months now, juggling my duties and this slide into depravity as I compromised both myself and Brennan. Spent time I never should have chasing him and the witchcraft between us. Black lightning. Dark love spells. Destiny and fate. The best man I’ve ever met. The man I love. The man I can never love.

Brennan is waiting for me in Washington. I can feel the pull of him, the magnetic attraction from his soul to mine. I could close my eyes and navigate by heart, and this SUV would go right to the White House. Every part of me is tied to every part of him, so much more intimately after last night.

“It should matter between us. The truth should be all that matters between you and me.” But it’s not just him and me. It’s him and me and the entire world.

“It sucks falling in love with someone you can’t be with.”

Would Sheridan have been able to unlock my heart like Brennan had? If I met these men in reverse, would Sheridan be the man in my bed and Brennan just another president, just another job, on the periphery of my life?

Brennan is black lightning and blues, neon-soaked rain squalls, bayou midnights and creeping Spanish moss. He’s unknowable depths, flame-hot touches and bleu clair eyes. He’s the mystery, the moon rising in the west, the secrets written on bones and cast under dark stars.

Some part of me may need Sheridan, like the earth needs the rays of the sun. But I was made to love Brennan Walker.

I could set my watch to Sheridan’s quiet care and endless affection. He’s as reliable as the sunrise. What the hell does he see in me?

“Is it a crime? Is it against any law?” “Dereliction of duty.” “You couldn’t derelict your duty if you tried.” He scoffs.

“If he thought you were worth the risk to him, isn’t he worth the risk to you?”

“I want to marry you.” His voice is less than a whisper. Less than sound. I feel his words more than I hear them. It feels like I’m marrying him now. “I’m yours, Brennan. And I’ll always be yours.”

The SUV is too small for all this betrayal and heartbreak.

There is a world of difference between falling in love and being in love. All the held breaths and hesitations from before have vanished. Certainty fills me.

My home is in his arms.

Like the two best men I know thinking I’m worth making space for in their hearts isn’t the biggest honor of my life.

“That’s the past.” Brennan kissed me again. “What matters is now and what we do with today. Tomorrow is a dream. The past is forgotten. Today, I love you.”