Secret Service

by Tal Bauer

I am no one. I am no titan, no giant walking this planet, but if my love for this man was ever tested—if ever the world tried to take him from me—I would rip the sky from the edges of this earth.

Human beings are not meant to carry nuclear reactors within their hearts.

The weight of the world rests on those shoulders, yet he’s made room for me, too.

We should never have met, because there’s nothing I won’t do for Brennan, and that kind of love—burn the world down, fly the black flag, you are my forever for always—is too dangerous.

I’ve bargained and compromised and made deals with the devil, all so I can taste this man’s kiss and feel his skin against my own.

Years ago, I buried a black box on a beach inside myself, full to the brim of truths I couldn’t face. Reese’s voice is the tide, and his words are waves crashing against my hidden shores. The box is unearthing. Rising.

If I met you in another life, would you let me take you to dinner?

I should not be dreaming about the president.

DC drew us together, but DC keeps us apart, too.

Fall for a king next time. He’ll be just as unattainable.

I’m living in a splintered reality, in a place where the president talks to me like I’m someone special to him.

A tug, and a pull, and then my belt is undone and Brennan Walker, the president of the United States, is on his knees in front of me, pulling my pants and boxers down.

Don’t make the president swallow your come.

“You feel inevitable. Like I’ve been waiting for you.”

You make me dream impossible dreams.”

You make me wild. You make me believe I can fall for a man like you. You make me believe that this crackle in reality between us is alive, like destiny and fate can be measured by physics.

Why now? Why me? Why him? I don’t know the answers, but maybe I don’t need to. Maybe we just need to be together and watch this rain.

I can’t tear my eyes away from the corpse. Is this my best friend or my lover?

If I curled my hand around this skull, would I hold it as I cradled Brennan? Would these bones fit my palm the way my lover’s did?

I’m risking the world for the taste of his kiss.

The world is accelerating, but you are my center, Reese Theriot.

“You’re taking a terrible risk with me. I’m the biggest threat you face. And I can’t hurt you, mon cher. I can’t.”

Not like this. It can’t end like this. “Please…” Not now. Not when the stars are aligning.

Our eyes meet, and in front of 193 nations and the world’s media, Brennan smiles at me.

I don’t want to fight this. I want to surrender. I want to live outside time, where Reese and I can fall in love, and the kiss I so desperately want from him isn’t fraught with consequence. I want to be someone I’m not, someone who can love the man I need.

“Please.” I’m yours. I’m yours forever. Take me, please.

Brennan has a way of making the rest of the world seem insignificant, as if the only things that matter are him and me and the angles of our bodies.

there’s no hiding from what I’m doing now. I’m fucking the president.

I’ve just done what I swore I never, ever would. I’ve put Brennan in danger.

I thought I was protective before, when I was only the head of the president’s detail. Now I’ve made love to Brennan. Now I’m the president’s lover. Now there’s a ferocity inside me that is overwhelming. Blinding. Agonizing.

The entire world is watching him. He’s up there, in front of everybody, with my come in his body. I didn’t even use a condom. I fucked him—the president—raw.

The best man I’ve ever met. The man I love. The man I can never love.

I want to fall to his feet and beg. Beg for mercy, beg for his love, beg him to forgive me for what I’m about to do.

But it’s not just him and me. It’s him and me and the entire world.

If I could rewrite the world any way I wanted, I’d rewrite it with him at the center. I’d write us a happy ending that would make fairy tales green with envy. Nothing would ever come between us. He’d know that I love him, that I will always love him.

I don’t understand what changed between New York and what you said to me last night. I don’t think I ever will. Please know that I will always, always cherish what we shared, even if it doesn’t mean the same to you.

But I was made to love Brennan Walker. And then I was set down in this life, where that love is an impossibility.

“If he thought you were worth the risk to him, isn’t he worth the risk to you?”

“You never asked what you were worth to me, Reese. Loving you is bigger than the presidency, or my legacy, or my reputation.

I am more than who I was before. I’m a better man, and a better president, for loving him.

Tomorrow is a dream. The past is forgotten. Today, I love you.”