With the women I counsel, we develop a strategy for the necessary boundaries to be communicated and implemented in the right timing and in the right setting. We also determine appropriate consequences for specific boundary violations. We literally make a list that says, “If he does this, you do this.” What is communicated in vagueness, stays in vagueness, so we want to get as specific as possible. Here’s what the wife really needs to look for: How does her husband respond when she communicates the boundaries? Does he push back and resist the boundaries or is he willing to pursue recovery?
...more
