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We set boundaries so we know what to do when we very much want to love those around us really well without losing ourselves in the process. Good
boundaries help us preserve the love within us even when some relationships become unsustainable and we must accept the reality of a goodbye.
But we can’t enable bad behavior in ourselves and others and call it love. We can’t tolerate destructive patterns and call it love. And we can’t pride ourselves on being loyal and longsuffering in our relationships when it’s really perpetuating violations of what God says love is.
Love must be honest. Love must be safe. Love must seek each person’s highest good.
Boundaries protect the
right kind of love and help prevent dysfunction from destroying that love. Boundaries help us say what needs to be said, do what needs to be done, and establish what is and isn’t acceptable. Love should be what draws us together not what tears us apart.
Setting boundaries from a place of anger and bitterness will only lead to control and manipulation. Setting boundaries as a punishment will only serve to imprison us. But setting boundaries from a place of love provides an opportunity for relationships to grow deeply b...
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When we’re hurt, good boundaries and goodbyes help us to not get stuck in a perpetual state of living hurt.
I now believe we must honor what honors God. And in doing so, we must not confuse the good commands to love and forgive with the bad realities of enabling and covering up things that are not honoring to God. When someone’s dishonorable actions beg us not to stay, this should give us serious pause.
The real issue was I started to resent the amount of emotional access to my life I had given to her.
We don’t want to get so consumed with the pain and chaos of unhealthy relationship patterns that we become a carrier of human hurt rather than a conduit of God’s love.
Like God, we must require from people the responsibility necessary to grant the amount of access we
allow them to have in our lives. Too much access without the correct responsibility is detrimental.
