Good Boundaries and Goodbyes: Loving Others Without Losing the Best of Who You Are

by Lysa TerKeurst

am more familiar with sin but not as much with iniquity. As I studied this, I discovered iniquity points to the character or motivation of the action more than the action itself. So, it’s not just what someone does or doesn’t do; it’s what her actions represent. I think this is where things can get so confusing when we know something someone is doing is hurtful to us, but we can’t pinpoint it as sin. It may even contribute to our relationship feeling a little “off”—like something isn’t quite right. That’s why I’m so grateful the Bible also addresses iniquity, which gets into the nuances of hurtful issues within human relationships that don’t clearly point to sin. Reread the verses above and notice that both sin and iniquity have consequences that change the access God allows in His relationships. What we are looking for are patterns of hurtful and harmful behavior. A hurtful statement can be called a mistake. But a repeated pattern of hurtful statements or uncaring attitudes or even unjust expectations is much more than a mistake. These patterns are misuses of the purposes of a relationship. Why is this so crucial to understand? Because unchecked misuse of a relationship can quickly turn into abuse in a relationship.