To admit that would force me to make the choice to once again turn this man I loved over to his choices. To stop the madness, I would have to let go of his hand. Let go of what had been such a big part of my life. Stop myself from stepping in to rescue him over and over. And then remind myself to breathe a thousand painful and fearful breaths every single day. I knew at some point I would stare at my face in the mirror and wonder, But what if I rescued him this time and it finally turned everything around? Or what if I don’t rescue him and something terrible happens? Will I regret this for the
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