Or there’s been an issue in your marriage, and you want to have an open, healthy conversation with your spouse. But based on previous conversations that have gone poorly, you tend to personalize what he says, and he tends to bring in past grievances, causing everything to escalate and get off topic. So, you decide in order to continue to keep this level of access to each other’s tender concerns, ground rules need to be established so you each know how to be responsible and caring toward the other. You might say, “In order for us to stay in this conversation, we need to agree not to attack each
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