Good Boundaries and Goodbyes: Loving Others Without Losing the Best of Who You Are

by Lysa TerKeurst

When you tell others about your relationship do you find yourself exaggerating the small “good things” and suppressing the hard/bad things? Are you experiencing abuse but afraid to call it that? (If the answer is yes, seek help immediately from a trained professional.) Do you ever discern the other person is lying to you but when you ask them questions they get defensive and angry? Do they then, in turn, make you feel like the crazy one? When you see a call or a text from them, do you fear they are about to hijack your peace and send you spiraling emotionally? Are you in love with their potential instead of who they are right now? In conflict with this person, do you often have to take responsibility for everything while they resist taking responsibility for anything? Do you question your worth or your sanity after you have spent time with this person? Are you constantly walking on eggshells because you’re afraid that one bad decision on your part will make the other person walk away? Or worse, you fear they will forever hold that one thing against you and use that instance as a justification to do whatever, or say whatever, they please? Do you feel unable to share exciting successes in your life with this person for fear of them not celebrating you, or worse, attacking or belittling you? Do you spend more time trying to save the relationship than enjoying the relationship? Do you fear their choices? Are they resistant to changing a behavior even though they know it is hur...