Good Boundaries and Goodbyes: Loving Others Without Losing the Best of Who You Are

by Lysa TerKeurst

REFLECT (QUESTIONS TO THINK THROUGH): Have you ever considered that establishing healthy parameters in your relationships is actually an act of love? As you start this book, how does this change your perspective? What may have motivated you in the past to set boundaries or say a goodbye? Take time to think this through and then write down your answers. When you’re in a relationship where there’s been chaos, confusion, and hurt, reacting in extremes can add even more pain. Some people take on all the blame and minimize the actions of the other person. The opposite extreme is to place sole blame on the other person without checking your own heart. Throughout this book, we want to avoid going to either of these extremes. So, honest self-reflection is always a good practice. Asking yourself these questions is a wise step now, and revisiting them before you set a boundary or say goodbye could also be helpful: —Have I set unrealistic expectations? —Am I too easily offended? —Have I considered my own shortcomings relative to this relationship? —Have I sought wisdom from a godly advisor, mentor, or counselor?