Faking with Benefits

by Lily Gold

“I am too defensive with men,” I admit. “I don’t trust guys when they flirt with me. I don’t trust them when they show interest in me, or touch me, or try to get me in bed. It makes me angry to be flirted with. It makes me want to run away. I just hate every part of it.”

“I’ll rip out your eyes and eat them like olives,” I inform him, twirling the umbrella between my fingers.

He shakes his head. “You don’t understand, sweetheart.” Rage suddenly sloshes through my veins like rocket fuel. “I don’t understand,” I repeat slowly. “Sorry. Am I on drugs, or was I the one who was getting bullied? Me, not you. No one understands this better than me. But of course, you make this all about you, and your stupid teacher duty. In your head, I’m just a silly little sixteen-year-old student, who you’ll always know more than.” He frowns. “Listen—” “No,” I snap. “You listen to me. I am your coworker. Not your student. Not your pupil. There is no power structure between us anymore. We’re both adults. I am your equal now. You should be giving me just as much respect as you give Josh, and Zack, or any other person you’d meet on the street. But you don’t, and it makes me sick.” His eyes widen. “This has nothing to do with respect, Layla.” I wave him silent. “Do you not think it hurts me to constantly be reminded of high school? Back then, I was a victim. And now, I’m not. I’m not.” I repeat, my eyes stinging. “When you treat me like a helpless sixteen-year-old, it makes me feel like utter crap. So please, just… stop.” My voice breaks on the last word. “Stop.”

“Hey,” Zack says indignantly. “You don’t let me tell you what to do! I told you to get on your hands and knees the other day, and you told me to make violent love to myself!” My eyes fall half-shut. “I-it’s not hot when you do it.” He’s outraged. “Excuse me? Everything is hot when I do it!” “Quit talking,” Luke orders. “Make yourself useful and eat her out.”