Faking with Benefits

by Lily Gold

“Okay,” Josh’s low voice says as I hit the last stretch of my run. “Here’s an email that I think must be meant for Zack. It’s from the pseudonym ‘Moist in the Midlands’.” “Oh, this’ll be good,” Zack answers. “Hit me.” Josh clears his throat. “‘The last few times me and my girlfriend have slept together’, he reads aloud, ‘she’s squirted. I think it’s great, but she’s horrifically embarrassed every time it happens, and it’s really affecting our life in the bedroom. How do I convince her that it’s normal… and that I actually really like it?’” “Drink that shit up,” Zack says immediately. “You gotta get in there and SWALLOW, man. You can’t just tell her you think it’s hot, you gotta show her. So get between her legs and go down like you’re at a damn watermelon eating contest. Trust me, she’s gonna know you think it’s hot when you’re licking her clean like she’s a melting ice cream cone.”

JOSH: Jesus. LUKE: Layla! Put your shirt back on. ZACK: This is the best day of my effing life. LAYLA: Thanks. Review, please. ZACK: Um. Yeah. Your tits look huge. Five stars. Would recommend. LAYLA: The pants match. ZACK: Please tell me you’re wearing them. LAYLA: Yes, actually, let me just— JOSH: (speaking quickly) Use the code THREESINGLEGUYS for twenty percent off. Terms and conditions apply. The full collection launches August 1st. Layla, for the love of God, please put your shirt back on before Zack’s drool breaks the equipment.