Faking with Benefits
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Read between August 3 - August 4, 2024
2%
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“We found him, um, climbing out of the window in the mens’ bathroom. So I don’t think he plans on coming back.” 
Jess Hernandez
No way the date was going that bad bro
16%
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I should just focus on my work. Maybe one day, I’ll be rich enough to buy a husband.  
17%
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and by the time we get her back to our apartment building, she looks like most girls look after a date with me: horny. 
Jess Hernandez
Lmfao be fr
18%
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“Alright, pumpkin.” I squeeze her hip. “Tell your favourite boyfriend what’s wrong.” 
Jess Hernandez
Youre the one zack. Calling it
22%
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She tastes sweet — like strawberry lip salve. 
Jess Hernandez
Ew
23%
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“Ain’t nowt wrong wi’ bein’ a whore,” Zack opines through a mouthful of cheese. 
23%
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I’ve overdone it. The flowers and the candles, me taking her coat and pulling out her chair — she hates all of it. I screwed up. 
Jess Hernandez
Josh anxious asf
27%
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“Love Colin Firth.”
Jess Hernandez
Same
38%
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“I’ll rip out your eyes and eat them like olives,” I inform him, twirling the umbrella between my fingers. Donny’s face darkens with a scowl. I don’t break eye contact, staring him down. 
42%
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Poor bastard. He can deny it all he wants, but this obviously isn’t just a crush. He’s head over heels for Layla.  Damn. This isn’t gonna end well. 
45%
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I don’t mean to get so controlling in bed. I try to be gentle and respectful, but whenever I’m turned on, I just turn into this commanding, authoritative prick. Zack insists that I’m a latent Dom. Amy preferred to say I became a caveman as soon as I got hard. 
Jess Hernandez
Okay luke okay
49%
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Okay, babe. I don’t know how strong the human head is, and I don’t think it matters. There’s no weight capacity. Just sit on his face, and if he dies, he dies. 
52%
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“I don’t want you to be romantic. I don’t want you to be anything.” His breath hitches as I press a kiss under his jaw. “You don’t have to do anything. Or say anything. You can just sleep in my bed, if you want. Drink all my wine. Play Snake on your phone and ignore me. We don’t have to exchange one word. I literally don’t care.”
54%
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I’ve never been in love. I don’t know what it feels like. But I wouldn’t be surprised if it felt like this.
Jess Hernandez
Aw josh
55%
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“Hey. Spaghetti hoop. You good?” 
Jess Hernandez
most foul nickname yet!
67%
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What am I doing, drinking and dancing and kissing pretty girls on the day she died? What the Hell is wrong with me? I
Jess Hernandez
:(
67%
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I’ve let myself get in way too deep with Layla. It needs to stop. I can’t do this anymore.
Jess Hernandez
Dont punish yourself man
69%
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“Josh, I don’t think we’ve had one conversation in the last three years where you haven’t mentioned her. Sure, you didn’t say her name, but it’s obviously her.” I look at him blankly, and he raises his eyebrows. “Your infuriating green-eyed neighbour? She works too hard and screws up your internet when she’s taking video calls? Blonde hair, hot temper, likes to show you her underwear? Ring any bells?” 
Jess Hernandez
Awwwwwwwwwwee josh u win
73%
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You made me feel safe and loved and comfortable. And now, when you’ve finally peeled away every defence I used to have, you’ve decided to have one last quickie with me, and then break up with me while your goddamn come is still inside me?! And you’re somehow telling me that it’s my fault, when you’re treating me like a fricking flesh light? What the Hell is wrong with you?! You’re not my friend, you don’t respect me at all! No friend would treat me like that!” I take a deep breath. “Hell, the guys back in high school hated me. They spread lies about me. They made me feel like a dirty, ...more
76%
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“You’re a coward, Mr Martins,”
Jess Hernandez
Yuh
77%
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“And neither of you thought that, given her past, that might affect her?”
Jess Hernandez
Love u joshy
83%
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“I’m sick of being a coward.”  I nod. “Me, too.” “Me, three,” Zack adds morosely. “Poor Layla. We romanced her half to death, then dropped her as soon as she got the balls to tell us how she felt. It’s not her fault she fell in love with three total idiots.” 
86%
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“Layla doesn’t lead people on. She’s usually trying to make people leave her alone.” 
89%
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“Before we started this, you weren’t looking to be loved. You wanted to find a boyfriend the same way you want to find laundry detergent at the grocery store. To cross an item off your list.” 
92%
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“Turns out, you can have more than one boyfriend! I’m starting a collection.”  
94%
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“Where’s the bathroom? I need to jump out the window to get away from you.” “Most of my dates feel a similar urge. Breathe deep, it’ll pass.”  
95%
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Josh told me privately a couple of weeks ago that the couple is currently on a break.
Jess Hernandez
F u amy
97%
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take a deep breath, then look up into the faces of my three best friends. My neighbours, and my roommates, and my coworkers, and my partners. My husbands. I smile. “We’ve got all the time in the world.”