Finding Daisies

by Jessica Jocelyn

if the time ever comes when you lose yourself, I will never stop looking for you. I will be the one in the dark, holding a torch, to help guide you home.

if you’re going to stab me in the back, turn me around first, look me in the eye. stab me in the front instead. it’s the least you could do.

who I thought I was is such a far cry from who I really am- and once I honored her, I shed the people who really didn’t love me like a second skin I never knew I didn’t need.

when I walk by, people won’t speak of my dark days. they will marvel at all the times I got back up and kept walking even though each step seemed harder than the one before it. because the ultimate goal is when my children speak of strength, they will point to me.

all my life, I’ve been loved (or thought I was) by people who have always given me bare minimum but I’m here to tell you (them) that you get no praise for being bare minimum. not here not now and definitely never from me.

I don’t think there will ever come a time when I don’t secretly seek their love. it could almost be described as something I miss, until I realize it’s impossible to miss something that I probably never had. mourning would be the more proper term for it. maybe none of us ever stop doing this. we just end up learning to swim without them because we can’t drown with them anymore.