Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone (Harry Potter, #1)

by J.K. Rowling

Mr. Dursley, however, had a perfectly normal, owl-free morning. He yelled at five different people.

LOL

Mr. Dursley sat frozen in his armchair. Shooting stars all over Britain? Owls flying by daylight? Mysterious people in cloaks all over the place? And a whisper, a whisper about the Potters . . .

This man’s name was Albus Dumbledore.

Oh ok!

“We have much to be thankful for. Would you care for a lemon drop?”

Ok me sipping a lemon drop martini rn

there will be books written about Harry — every child in our world will know his name!”

Oh wow

He couldn’t know that at this very moment, people meeting in secret all over the country were holding up their glasses and saying in hushed voices: “To Harry Potter — the boy who lived!”

Wow im excited

Aunt Petunia often said that Dudley looked like a baby angel — Harry often said that Dudley looked like a pig in a wig.

LOL

Mr. H. Potter The Cupboard under the Stairs 4 Privet Drive Little Whinging Surrey

Yesterday he’d have given anything to be up here. Today he’d rather be back in his cupboard with that letter than up here without it.

When the mail arrived, Uncle Vernon, who seemed to be trying to be nice to Harry, made Dudley go and get it. They heard him banging things with his Smelting stick all the way down the hall. Then he shouted, “There’s another one! ‘Mr. H. Potter, The Smallest Bedroom, 4 Privet Drive —’”

LOLL

Someone knew he had moved out of his cupboard and they seemed to know he hadn’t received his first letter. Surely that meant they’d try again? And this time he’d make sure they didn’t fail. He had a plan.

He hummed “Tiptoe Through the Tulips” as he worked, and jumped at small noises.

Of course, his birthdays were never exactly fun — last year, the Dursleys had given him a coat hanger and a pair of Uncle Vernon’s old socks. Still, you weren’t eleven every day.

One minute to go and he’d be eleven. Thirty seconds . . . twenty . . . ten . . . nine — maybe he’d wake Dudley up, just to annoy him — three . . . two . . . one . . . BOOM. The whole shack shivered and Harry sat bolt upright, staring at the door. Someone was outside, knocking to come in.

Wow

“True, I haven’t introduced meself. Rubeus Hagrid, Keeper of Keys and Grounds at Hogwarts.”

“Yer great puddin’ of a son don’ need fattenin’ anymore, Dursley, don’ worry.”

Jk rowling: transphobjc AND fatphobic

“Ah, go boil yer heads, both of yeh,” said Hagrid. “Harry — yer a wizard.” There was silence inside the hut. Only the sea and the whistling wind could be heard. “I’m a what?” gasped Harry. “A wizard, o’ course,” said Hagrid, sitting back down on the sofa, which groaned and sank even lower, “an’ a thumpin’ good’un, I’d say, once yeh’ve been trained up a bit. With a mum an’ dad like yours, what else would yeh be? An’ I reckon it’s abou’ time yeh read yer letter.”

omg

“Sorry,” he said. “But it’s that sad — knew yer mum an’ dad, an’ nicer people yeh couldn’t find — anyway . . .

AW :(

Harry looked into the fire. Now he came to think about it . . . every odd thing that had ever made his aunt and uncle furious with him had happened when he, Harry, had been upset or angry . . . chased by Dudley’s gang, he had somehow found himself out of their reach . . . dreading going to school with that ridiculous haircut, he’d managed to make it grow back . . . and the very last time Dudley had hit him, hadn’t he got his revenge, without even realizing he was doing it? Hadn’t he set a boa constrictor on him? Harry

“I remember every wand I’ve ever sold, Mr. Potter. Every single wand. It so happens that the phoenix whose tail feather is in your wand, gave another feather — just one other. It is very curious indeed that you should be destined for this wand when its brother — why, its brother gave you that scar.”

“Don’t know why he’s so bothered,” said Ron. “If I’d brought a toad I’d lose it as quick as I could. Mind you, I brought Scabbers, so I can’t talk.”

Scabbers is a horrible name

“It’s a Remembrall!” he explained. “Gran knows I forget things — this tells you if there’s something you’ve forgotten to do. Look, you hold it tight like this and if it turns red — oh . . .” His face fell, because the Remembrall had suddenly glowed scarlet, “. . . you’ve forgotten something . . .”

hahahahaha

“Your father would have been proud,” she said. “He was an excellent Quidditch player himself.”

:)

“I couldn’t help overhearing what you and Malfoy were saying —” “Bet you could,” Ron muttered. “— and you mustn’t go wandering around the school at night, think of the points you’ll lose Gryffindor if you’re caught, and you’re bound to be. It’s really very selfish of you.”

Shes so rachel berry i love her

The common room was packed and noisy. Everyone was eating the food that had been sent up. Hermione, however, stood alone by the door, waiting for them. There was a very embarrassed pause. Then, none of them looking at each other, they all said “Thanks,” and hurried off to get plates. But from that moment on, Hermione Granger became their friend. There are some things you can’t share without ending up liking each other, and knocking out a twelve-foot mountain troll is one of them.

Wait why did thissmake me tear up

Lee Jordan was finding it difficult not to take sides. “So — after that obvious and disgusting bit of cheating —” “Jordan!” growled Professor McGonagall. “I mean, after that open and revolting foul —” “Jordan, I’m warning you —”

Lol

It was enough. Up in the air, Harry was suddenly able to clamber back on to his broom. “Neville, you can look!” Ron said. Neville had been sobbing into Hagrid’s jacket for the last five minutes.

me

“I think I know who that one’s from,” said Ron, turning a bit pink and pointing to a very lumpy parcel. “My mum. I told her you didn’t expect any presents and — oh, no,” he groaned, “she’s made you a Weasley sweater.” Harry had torn open the parcel to find a thick, hand-knitted sweater in emerald green and a large box of homemade fudge. “Every year she makes us a sweater,” said Ron, unwrapping his own, “and mine’s always maroon.”

Stoppppppp ill cry

Your father left this in my possession before he died. It is time it was returned to you. Use it well. A Very Merry Christmas to you

Why is this whole chapter making me emotional

Harry was so close to the mirror now that his nose was nearly touching that of his reflection. “Mum?” he whispered. “Dad?” They just looked at him, smiling. And slowly, Harry looked into the faces of the other people in the mirror, and saw other pairs of green eyes like his, other noses like his, even a little old man who looked as though he had Harry’s knobbly knees — Harry was looking at his family, for the first time in his life.

Omg

They piled so much homework on them that the Easter holidays weren’t nearly as much fun as the Christmas ones.

Wait is jesus canon in harry potter?

“But if we get caught, you two will be expelled, too.” “Not if I can help it,” said Hermione grimly. “Flitwick told me in secret that I got a hundred and twelve percent on his exam. They’re not throwing me out after that.”

My sister

“That’s chess!” snapped Ron. “You’ve got to make some sacrifices! I’ll make my move and she’ll take me — that leaves you free to checkmate the king, Harry!”

OMG!

Another few seconds and I’d have got you off that broom. I’d have managed it before then if Snape hadn’t been muttering a countercurse, trying to save you.” “Snape was trying to save me?”

WOw he got me FR

“What happened down in the dungeons between you and Professor Quirrell is a complete secret, so, naturally, the whole school knows.

LOL

As much money and life as you could want! The two things most human beings would choose above all — the trouble is, humans do have a knack of choosing precisely those things that are worst for them.”

“Call him Voldemort, Harry. Always use the proper name for things. Fear of a name increases fear of the thing itself.”

. to have been loved so deeply, even though the person who loved us is gone, will give us some protection forever.

“Funny, the way people’s minds work, isn’t it? Professor Snape couldn’t bear being in your father’s debt. . . . I do believe he worked so hard to protect you this year because he felt that would make him and your father even. Then he could go back to hating your father’s memory in peace. . . .”

My brain surprises even me sometimes. . . .

Ah! Bertie Bott’s Every Flavor Beans! I was unfortunate enough in my youth to come across a vomit-flavored one, and since then I’m afraid I’ve rather lost my liking for them — but I think I’ll be safe with a nice toffee, don’t you?” He smiled and popped the golden-brown bean into his mouth. Then he choked and said, “Alas! Ear wax!”

It seemed to be a handsome, leather-covered book. Harry opened it curiously. It was full of wizard photographs. Smiling and waving at him from every page were his mother and father. “Sent owls off ter all yer parents’ old school friends, askin’ fer photos . . . knew yeh didn’ have any . . . d’yeh like it?” Harry couldn’t speak, but Hagrid understood.

Percy could be heard telling the other prefects, “My brother, you know! My youngest brother! Got past McGonagall’s giant chess set!”

:)

“There are all kinds of courage,” said Dumbledore, smiling. “It takes a great deal of bravery to stand up to our enemies, but just as much to stand up to our friends. I therefore award ten points to Mr. Neville Longbottom.”

It was the best evening of Harry’s life, better than winning at Quidditch, or Christmas, or knocking out mountain trolls . . . he would never, ever forget tonight.