Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban (Harry Potter, #3)

by J.K. Rowling

Wendelin the Weird enjoyed being burned so much that she allowed herself to be caught no less than forty-seven times in various disguises.

alright then

Bill says it’s rubbish sold for wizard tourists and isn’t reliable, because it kept lighting up at dinner last night.

i smell a RAT

Was inflating Aunt Marge bad enough to land him in Azkaban?

LOLLL thoughts of a thirteen year old

Two members of the Accidental Magic Reversal Squad were dispatched to Privet Drive a few hours ago.

that honestly sounds like a fun job imagine the stuff you’d see

“It was an accident! We don’t send people to Azkaban just for blowing up their aunts!”

i love that line

Never before had he been able to get up whenever he wanted or eat whatever he fancied.

that is so fucking depressing i DESPISE the dursleys and dumbledore for PUTTING HIM THERE

gave Harry free sundaes every half an hour.

yes he deserves all of it

Do you really think he’s going to worry about attacking Harry just because we’re there?”

lol

“Oh, no — er — Professor,” then he smirked at Crabbe and Goyle and led them up the steps into the castle.

i will f u up boy

“What villains are these, that trespass upon my private lands! Come to scorn at my fall, perchance? Draw, you knaves, you dogs!”

i love him

“A quest!” The knight’s rage seemed to vanish instantly.

I LOVE HIM

“Farewell, my comrades-in-arms! If ever you have need of noble heart and steely sinew, call upon Sir Cadogan!”

yes i’ve concluded he’s my favorite

“beware a red-haired man.” Parvati gave a startled look at Ron, who was right behind her, and edged her chair away from him.

easily the funniest part of the whole book

“That means you’re going to have ‘trials and suffering’ — sorry about that — but there’s a thing that could be the sun . . . hang on . . . that means ‘great happiness’ . . . so you’re going to suffer but be very happy. . . .”

WAIT harry says this in the books?? interesting

“Change roots with Malfoy, Weasley.” “But, sir — !” Ron had spent the last quarter of an hour carefully shredding his own roots into exactly equal pieces.

wow u fucking suck

Professor McGonagall summoned Harry into her office, with such a somber expression on her face Harry thought someone must have died.

LOL

“I did not ask for information. I was merely commenting on Professor Lupin’s lack of organization.”

boy shut up

Wood looked as though he could have kissed her.

😭😭

At least a hundred dementors, their hidden faces pointing up at him, were standing beneath him.

nah fuck that

“We think he’s trying to drown himself.”

iconic and hilarious

Never trust anything that can think for itself, if you can’t see where it keeps its brain.

LOL WTF

the levitating sherbet balls that Ron had mentioned; along yet another wall were “Special Effects” sweets: Drooble’s Best Blowing Gum (which filled a room with bluebell-colored bubbles that refused to pop for days), the strange, splintery Toothflossing Stringmints, tiny black Pepper Imps (“Breathe fire for your friends!”), Ice Mice (“Hear your teeth chatter and squeak!”), peppermint creams shaped like toads (“Hop realistically in the stomach!”), fragile sugar-spun quills, and exploding bonbons.

all of these sound awful

Told me ter take his motorbike ter get Harry there. ‘I won’t need it anymore,’ he says.

the bike is sirius’ then ah

(“Stand and fight, you yellow-bellied mongrels!”),

my favorite character

“Er — shall I make a cup of tea?” said Ron. Harry stared at him. “It’s what my mum does whenever someone’s upset,” Ron muttered, shrugging.

ron u cutie

“Er — how are the flobberworms?” “Dead,” said Hagrid gloomily. “Too much lettuce.”

this is NOT hagrid’s week

“Lupin? Listen, if he had this much gold, he’d be able to buy himself some new robes.”

hey that’s my man you’re talking about

The Pocket Sneakoscope had become dislodged from Uncle Vernon’s old socks and was whirling and gleaming on the floor.

that’s twice now

Snape’s mouth thinned and he pushed the hat toward Dumbledore, who swapped it for his wizard’s hat at once.

why is he so fashionable

Waving aside the information that a famous murderer was after his Seeker,

not important next

“What does a Patronus look like?” said Harry curiously. “Each one is unique to the wizard who conjures it.”

mine is a mouse🕴🏻

Just because I told her I didn’t care if it threw you off, as long as you caught the Snitch first.”

why is he such a comedic king

Ron had taken the loss of his rat very hard indeed.

literally why

“Harry — make sure you win,” said Percy, in an urgent whisper. “I haven’t got ten Galleons. Yes, I’m coming, Penny!” And he bustled off to join her in a piece of toast.

he’s charming me guys

Sir Cadogan had been fired. His portrait had been taken back to its lonely landing on the seventh floor, and the Fat Lady was back.

hey it wasn’t his fault sirius had all the passwords 😔

but before he could climb in himself, Neville came around the corner. “Harry! I forgot you weren’t going to Hogsmeade either!”

poor neville i feel so bad for him 😭

“My dad didn’t strut,” said Harry, before he could stop himself.

boy yes he did

“Mr. Prongs agrees with Mr. Moony, and would like to add that Professor Snape is an ugly git.”

READ HIMMMMM

“Mr. Wormtail bids Professor Snape good day, and advises him to wash his hair, the slimeball.”

that is so deserving

It was hard to tell whether Professor Trelawney had heard them, as her face was hidden in shadow. She continued, however, as though she had not.

i do not tolerate all this hatred towards trelawney i love her she’s too good for them all

Harry raised the wand. Now was the moment to do it. Now was the moment to avenge his mother and father. He was going to kill Black. He had to kill Black. This was his chance. . . .

how was he going to kill him bro with expelliarmus

“Harry . . . I as good as killed them,” he croaked. “I persuaded Lily and James to change to Peter at the last moment, persuaded them to use him as Secret-Keeper instead of me. . . . I’m to blame, I know it. . .

but like why did he do that??

“I thought it was the perfect plan . . . a bluff. . . . Voldemort would be sure to come after me, would never dream they’d use a weak, talentless thing like you. . . . It must have been the finest moment of your miserable life, telling Voldemort you could hand him the Potters.”

ok got it

“Yes, I think so,” said Lupin grimly.

that’s my man likeee🤭🤭🤭

“I let you sleep in my bed!” he said.

EW😭😭😭 THAT WAS A GROWN MAN

“You should have realized,” said Lupin quietly, “if Voldemort didn’t kill you, we would. Good-bye, Peter.”

okay im all for killing peter but we’re they really just gonna avada kedavra him like that would just send them to azkaban

He turned to look at her. She was carrying the largest block of chocolate he had ever seen in his life. It looked like a small boulder.

give me

“Macnair, if Buckbeak has indeed been stolen, do you really think the thief will have led him away on foot?” said Dumbledore, still sounding amused. “Search the skies, if you will. . . . Hagrid, I could do with a cup of tea. Or a large brandy.”

one of his best moments honestly like how on earth did he know

Snape stood there, seething, staring from Fudge, who looked thoroughly shocked at his behavior, to Dumbledore, whose eyes were twinkling behind his glasses. Snape whirled about, robes swishing behind him, and stormed out of the ward.

that was very satisfying

I, Sirius Black, Harry Potter’s godfather, hereby give him permission to visit Hogsmeade on weekends.

AWWW YAYYYY