Being compassionate to yourself is no different, except that it’s often harder to practice. In compassion there is no exhortation that we should be other than the way we are, only an invitation to inquire into the what, how, and why of the beliefs and behaviors that do not serve us. I would never tell anyone that they should be compassionate with themselves. Compassion brooks no “should.” In any case, our defended, walled-off parts do not respond positively to such demands—why would they? It is far kinder and more effective to bring attention to the lack of self-compassion, to notice it and be
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