The Myth of Normal: Trauma, Illness, and Healing in a Toxic Culture

by Gabor Maté

Every society makes assumptions about human nature, and ours is no exception. “It’s human nature,” we say, shrugging our shoulders at someone’s—often our own—manipulative, self-serving behavior. “Interestingly,” notes the educator Alfie Kohn, “the characteristics we explain away in this fashion are almost always unsavory; an act of generosity is rarely dismissed on the grounds that it is ‘just human nature.’”[1] There is a tendency in this culture, whether with approval or dismay, to see people as inherently aggressive, acquisitive, and ruggedly individualistic. We might cherish kindness, charity, and community-mindedness—our “better natures,” so to speak—but these are often spoken of wistfully, as exceptions to a hardwired rule.