Alone with You in the Ether

by Olivie Blake

“Oh, sure,” Marc laughed, “he loves you the way you are, of course. Because he doesn’t fucking know what you are.” “And what am I?” “I don’t know, nobody knows, but he certainly doesn’t fucking know.” She felt a rage she didn’t understand; an anger she didn’t know how to direct. “Just wait, Regan, until he figures you out. You’re complicated at first, unpredictable, exciting, but eventually you’re just a pattern. You feel something, you lash out. You get soft again, you don’t want to be alone, then you’re Dream Girl all over again. You think you want sex? You don’t want it, Regan, you need it. You need it to remind you that somebody loves you, and you won’t believe that unless there’s sex involved. That’s it, that’s everything there is to you, isn’t there? You need to be loved, you need someone to believe you’re perfect, you hate being reminded you have flaws. I already figured it out, so you needed someone else. Someone new. And when he figures you out, you’ll just find someone else. You fucking love the con, Regan. You love the con, but the con doesn’t love you, you’re not good enough at it. Your game is a lot less fun when it’s the same shit over and over.”