What We Broke

by Marley Valentine

When our salty lips meet, we bask in the connection. It’s not the type of kiss that leads anywhere, rather it’s a kiss that keeps you grounded. In this moment, sharing the heartache and searching for strength.

We aren’t just bound together by marriage vows, we are tethered. Like magnets, my soul couldn’t detach itself from his no matter how hard I tried.

“This,” he says, pointing to the twenty-four-hour grease bowl. “Usually I’m already in the back of a cab and I’ve got some guy’s hands on the back of my head as I clumsily take him down my throat. This,” he repeats. “Is nothing like that.”

“Could I please change that to a Dr. Pepper and a Coke, please?” “Please tell me you did not just say Dr. Pepper.” He groans. “What’s wrong with Dr. Pepper?” “Everything.” He covers his face with his hands and shakes his head. “It tastes like sugar and cough medicine.” “I happen to really like sugar and cough medicine.”

This wasn’t how the night was supposed to go. The man in front of me is sex personified and he wants to feed me before he fucks me.

With his lips on mine, we just exist. One man confessing his truth, the other one absolving him of the burden. I know, in this moment, with this kiss, there will never be another man in my life like Jesse. Whether we extend our twenty-four hours or not, the damage is already done. I am irreparably changed. And I know he is too.

“You’re mine,” he says with such finality. “You’re my worry, my heartache, my burden. Whatever you think you are, whatever season it is for us, you’re fucking mine, Leo.”

She snatches the clippers off Jesse and hands him a brush that helps clean the hair off me. “I can’t with all the googly eyes. You’re both nauseating. Let’s never hang out just the three of us ever again.”

“Do you want to have a shower?” Jesse asks, completely ignoring Zara’s rant. “Oh no. No sex in this house.” She shoves him out of the way and then moves my head in different angles, inspecting his work. “If I’m not getting any, neither are either of you.”

“Leo. Baby,” I say with an exasperated breath. “We can’t be on the same page when we’re both reading a different fucking book.”

“Leo, I don’t care if you exist as this sad man for the rest of our lives.” “But I care,” he shouts. “I don’t think I want to change, but I don’t want to make you live like this.”

“I love you, Leo,” I say. “No matter what you try to tell yourself or how unloveable you try to insist you are. I. Love. You.”

“You say the sweetest things, but you’ve always been the dirtier fighter of the two of us.” “I’m not fighting dirty when it’s the truth.”

“No, I will not indulge in your need for praise.” I laugh. “I am not that bad.” “You’re a proper slut for it.” “I am not.” “I’ve seen your face when Jesse compliments you.”

“Fuck. Jesse,” he groans as I continue to push in and out of him. “I need your cock. Please.”

I plunge myself inside him, and I feel, all the way down to my balls, the hoarse cry that rips out of Leo’s throat. “Fuck, you hurt so good,” I grind out. His body strangles my cock as my hips buck in and out of him. Every thrust is heaven and hell. In and out.

“I hate you for making me feel like this,” I grit out. “I know,” he cries. “Fuck. Baby, I know.” Pushing him back down to the bed, I grip his hips and fuck him mercilessly. There is no romance, no heart, no Leo and Jesse as I pound into my husband. I reach for Leo’s cock and he swats my hand away. “Just you,” he breathes out. “Only for you.”

He leans into me, mouth right by my ear. “Feel it,” he says, placing his hand over mine. His heart beats wildly against my palm. “It only does that for you.”

“You know the best part about being married?” he asks. “That this”—he drops his hand to my balls, rolling and squeezing them before tugging my cock again—“is all mine.”

I want to believe our love is a great love, a true love, but unfortunately, the hard lesson to learn is that it doesn’t actually matter which one of those it is. Because with great love comes great loss, and with true love comes true pain. And no love is invincible.